


Spectrum

by AbsoluteZXING



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst?, Bottom Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Doctors!AU, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff, Jongin is so cute, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Smut, Top Kim Jongin | Kai, slight s&m
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 11:12:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13703292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsoluteZXING/pseuds/AbsoluteZXING
Summary: I can map out your brain for you,But can you stitch up my heart?





	1. Who are you and what have you done to my boss?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! This is an on-going story because I keep on running out of ideas and I can't really start the light smut part without having creative juice flowing in my veins (yes, I meant chocolate/strawberry drinks). Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.  
> Let's love! <3

Jongin sighs for the nth time this night. He’s been throwing his stress ball back and forth and he’s really bored. Amongst the four Kim brothers that ventured out in the Medical Field, Jongin is the most glorified one. He’s the youngest among the four brothers and it’s already known that the Kims never aimed to please people, they’re just already brought high up and thrown into the pedestal to bow down to.

 

Of course Jongin thinks that the same thinking is shit. His brothers are at the top of their field, his eldest brother Minseok is the Head of Orthopedic Surgery, his second brother Junmyeon is the Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery and he’s also one of the greatest cardiothoracic surgeons and his third brother Jongdae is the Head of Pediatric Surgery. Now, one would expect Jongin to be following one of their leads but the youngest never showed his interest in hearts, bones or kids for that matter.

 

His parents never forced him, never forced any one of them to take up medicine even though they own a medical facility and a hospital at that. His mother was a model and a fashion designer and his father was an engineer and a great business man, he made it his goal to push forward medical advancements which was probably the reason why their eldest son, Minseok pursued Medicine.They were like dominoes after Minseok, Junmyeon and Jongdae followed shortly and Jongin was left to wonder what he wanted to do. He had never actually questioned himself of his abilities but it’s just that he had never put his heart into something unlike what he did when he learned how to dance but that’s another story for another time.

 

Jongin thinks that he’s the most glorified Kim because he became a doctor at such a young age, he’s only 25 and he’s already almost on his last year of residency. People had commented that he had god-like hands not because they looked strong and beautiful but because Jongin had never lost a patient, even if he was just scrubbing in for a certain doctor’s second, he would still get the unwanted credit for the successful surgery.

 

He knows that people are sucking up to him because his father might not be the Chief of Surgery but he’s still the owner of the hospital and well the three Kim brothers are willing to beat up anyone who would dare cross their Little Jonginnie. It is one of the reasons why Jongin didn’t want to go to their departments even though he sometimes has to go under the service of his brothers, he tends to keep quiet and let other residents suck up to his brothers.

 

Which is why Jongin is stuck at the emergency room in the middle of the night and cursing the boredom that’s seeping in his veins, he knows he should be thanking God that no one had to be rushed to their hospital because of an accident because every life is precious.

 

An order made him jolt out of his seat when he heard the words coming from the most interesting person that Jongin has encountered. “Kim, come with me”

 

Now, don’t judge him. Jongin is sucker for cute things but aside from being cute, Dr. Doh Kyungsoo is a work of art, sculpted perfectly by God himself and his hands, now those hands were _god-like_. Kyungsoo is only a year older than Jongin but he’s already way up Jongin’s reach. The man is a brain doctor, it sounds stupid saying it that way but Jongin can’t bear it when he calls for a Neuro consult and Kyungsoo comes in walking like the God that he is. Being a neurologist or a neurosurgeon meant that you have to have the most stable hands because that’s the brain that we’re talking about, one wrong move and you won’t be able to talk or blink. Kyungsoo had lost patients before but they were always the toughest cases that no one dared to come close to, which leads to reason why Jongin is crushing on his senior.

 

“I said come with me” Kyungsoo demands in irritation

 

Jongin finally stood up and followed his squishy, cute boss into one of the consultation rooms. Kyungsoo is a head shorter than Jongin and even though the older would snap at anyone who would dare tell him that he’s short, he has no choice but to accept it when he’s next to Kim Jongin.

 

Jongin always admired the squishy cheeks but sharp jaw of Kyungsoo, he always wanted to trace the perfect nose of the man, the plush lips and God, the eyes, Kyungsoo had the most beautiful wide eyes that Jongin couldn’t help but get lost into every time the older looks at him.

 

There’s one more thing, Kyungsoo never cared about Jongin being a Kim. “I need you to help me with something” Kyungsoo says quietly

 

“That’s not a question” Jongin smirks a little, feeling proud that his boss was seeking for his help.

 

Kyungsoo actually never asked Jongin for anything. Yes, he had ordered the younger back and forth to do medical related things but he had never asked Jongin to fetch him coffee or anything of the sort unlike the other fellows or attendings who are not his brothers.

 

Silence filled the room and Jongin heard the deep sigh from Kyungsoo which made him panic a little. “I know. I have…I..” the older trails off before looking at Jongin with a blank expression.

 

“What is it? Is it about the patients? Did I mess up?!” Jongin asks in panic, he’s been under Kyungsoo’s service since the start of the week and he always made sure that he double checks everything before handing it to Kyungsoo.

 

“No. I’m going to be your patient and I need absolute disclosure” he says firmly.

 

Okay, the warning in Kyungsoo’s voice was easily understood by Jongin, it roughly translates into _‘Tell anyone about this and you’re the next patient with a skull opened on my OR’_ and as much as Jongin likes Kyungsoo, he’s not willing to be a subject for experiment.

 

“Okay. Doctor-patient confidentiality, but I just want to point out that you’re the fellow surgeon here and I haven’t even declared my specialty and I know nothing about kids so, I just want to put it out there” Jongin points out with a sheepish smile

 

“Do I look like a fucking kid?” Kyungsoo snaps in exasperation, his hands flying to his head, pulling the tips of his glorious black silky hair.

 

Jongin held his tongue because even though Kyungsoo looked so hot getting all riled up and mad, he still wants to know what the favor was and how to maybe evolve it into dinner dates of some sort.

 

“I can’t get it up”

 

Jongin froze and held his breath, it was like all the air was suck out of his lungs and he’s not even flailing to get back his well-deserved oxygen. The shorter man was looking directly at him and suddenly the room felt like it was closing in on them. 

 

“Uhm…” he uttered stupidly

 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at Jongin and sat on the edge of the bed before motioning Jongin to take a seat at the stool near the bed.

 

“They said you have God-like hands so I need you to help me out” Kyungsoo says quietly and suddenly everything made more sense.

 

Well that is more than interesting, he’s almost thankful that the rumor of his hands got out of the hospital but he also doesn’t want to erm _fix_ this problem because it just meant Kyungsoo having to fuck someone and dating someone that may lead to marrying someone and that will leave Jongin a broken-hearted surgeon that will seek help from his good brother Junmyeon to have his heart sewn back to its perfect form.

 

“Did you get it checked?” a stupid question that Jongin knows but he had asked anyway

 

Kyungsoo scoffed at him and nodded quietly. “Sehun checked me and told me that I was just probably not lusting for someone. He used that term and he actually told me to fuck it out or get fucked”

 

“You…” Jongin didn’t trust his brain or his mouth to form coherent words so he stopped talking.

 

Kyungsoo got what he was trying to say because the older nodded at him. “I’m gay, yes.  Anyway, it didn’t work and it’s just frustrating me because I feel sexually frustrated but I don’t feel anything at the same time, do I make sense?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice was nearing frustration and irritation.

 

“No” Jongin mumbles

 

Kyungsoo chuckled bitterly and shook his head. “Of course, you probably fuck around a lot” he says nonchalantly

 

Jongin gasped and glared at his boss. “Excuse you, I don’t fuck around” Jongin says, eyes wide and a full offended expression written all over his face.

 

“The nurses talk a lot, Kim” Kyungsoo points out

 

Jongin stands up, trying to pull back his pride. “Well they probably were talking about the wrong Kim because I haven’t slept with any of the nurses” he says firmly and confidently because he’s sure that he hasn’t slept with any of the nurses at all.

 

“Ah, right because Sehun is a doctor” Kyungsoo deadpans

 

Jongin’s eyes widened and all he wanted to do was go to the corner and sulk there for the rest of his life. Why are they even talking about his sex life! “OMFG. That was one time! We were drunk!” Jongin answers back and he was throwing his arms around him like a crazy person.

 

“Sehun told me to seek you out and ask for help” Kyungsoo says lightly, waving off the panic in Jongin’s voice.

 

Jongin finally calmed down once he realized that his crush didn’t care about his one night stand with his best friend. He sat down back on the stool and stared at his boss with a clueless expression. “I don’t know what you want me to do here. Sehun is the right doctor for your concern and it’s not like I can touch my boss or my patient”

 

“This is why I’m not approaching you as your boss or your patient” Kyungsoo says quietly.

 

Jongin watched as Kyungsoo stood up and straightened out his coat. Their pagers suddenly beeped and Jongin knows that there was an incoming patient but he needs to know how to help Kyungsoo.

 

“Then what?” he asks as he stands up as well.

 

He was towering over the older doctor but when the said man looked up at him and smiled a little, Jongin felt smaller than ever. **_“Date me”_**


	2. Hyung, I'm dating Dr. Doh?

 

Jongin finds himself scrambling towards his brother’s office with a panicked expression and a confused mind. “Jongin?” Junmyeon called out in confusion, mainly because his brother was standing by the door, looking pale and probably going to pass out soon.

 

“Hyung” Jongin called out

 

“Yes?” Junmyeon answers back, his gaze was locked on the younger that was still hovering by the door.

 

Jongin finally closed the door and walked towards his brother who was seating at his office’s seating area, patient files are scattered around the chairs and tables. “Hyung” Jongin calls out again

 

“Jongin, you need to actually tell me something aside from calling out 'Hyung', okay?” Junmyeon points out with a soft chuckle, teasing the younger who looked so blank.

 

Jongin climbs onto his brother’s couch, moving every folder that was seated on the couch to make space for his long legs. “Hyung, I have a boyfriend” he admits.

 

“What?” Junmyeon asks quietly.

 

Jongin seldom tells him stuff regarding his relationships mostly because the younger is closest to Jongdae and Junmyeon is the busiest of all the Kim brothers. He finds himself wondering why on Earth does his brother look so flustered in admitting his relationship. 

 

“Boyfriend” Jongin repeated as if he didn’t believe himself as well.

 

It has been three long days since Kyungsoo asked him out to date him and Jongin straight out said that he doesn’t put out on the first date, making Kyungsoo chuckle softly, his lips had formed a heart shaped smile that made Jongin coo in front of his senior who quickly hid his smile. Kyungsoo agreed on taking things slow, no sex but he has allowed Jongin to touch him not that Jongin dared to do so, he was afraid of actually fixing his boyfriend's problem before spending time with him.

 

“Okay, you have a boyfriend. Why do you looked so panicked? I’m sure Dad will be fine with it, Minseok and I are dating men so I don’t know why you’re panicking” Junmyeon said in confusion.

 

Junmyeon's been dating Yixing for quite sometime and Minseok is already engaged to Luhan, a plastic surgeon who is currently in China because of a conference. Their parents took the news with a wide grin and a reassuring pat on the back with the words  _'As long as you're happy'_. Jongin knows that his parents wouldn't be disappointed in him mainly because he's the baby of the family and well, Jongin already pointed out before that he likes men as much as he likes puppies which says a lot to be honest. 

 

“Doh Kyungsoo” Jongin muttered softly just like how he has been saying the doctor’s name for three days

 

“Oh. Oh. The youngest neuro fellow?” Junmyeon asks as he placed down his laptop on the coffee table.

 

Jongin nodded dumbly, it’s actually his day off today but he had to tell his brothers or one of them before he goes out of his mind. They’re not living with each other because they’re trying to make Jongin live more independently even though they spoil him rotten anyway. Jongin lives the closest to his Jongdae hyung, they live in the same building with only two floors apart. Jongdae gave up the penthouse for his younger brother and settled in at the next largest apartment in the building. 

 

“He’s your crush, isn’t he? Jongdae told me about it” Junmyeon says softly, teasing his brother who was blushing furiously.

 

He would’ve cursed his closest brother for spoiling his secret but it doesn’t matter now that it’s out and he’s finally dating Doh Kyungsoo. Jongin is just confused, he doesn’t know if Kyungsoo really wanted to date him or he’s just dating Jongin for the sake of his _problem_. That would suck and it will break Jongin’s soft heart.

 

Before Jongin could even say another word, the door opened with a bang and his two brothers came in with an amused expression on their faces. “Jongin’s dating the boy wonder” Jongdae said with a stern tone in his voice. He sounds mildly irritated, Jongin notes. 

 

“Yes, he just told me” Junmyeon answers them

 

“Jonginnie! I thought we’re the closest! Why would you tell Junmyeon hyung first!” Jongdae whined and he sat next to Jongin just to pinch him lightly.

 

“You two were in a surgery and I was panicking!” Jongin answers back

 

“Why were you panicking?” Minseok asked with concern, he sat on the arm of the couch to see his brothers clearly. 

 

“I…Nothing. How did you know that I was dating him?” Jongin asks his brother who was looking back at him with concern.

 

“Ah. Kyungsoo informed Jongdae in the middle of the surgery” Minseok said quietly.

 

“You two had surgery together?” Jongin asked in surprise

 

It wasn’t always that Jongdae works with Neurosurgeons, especially the one named Doh Kyungsoo because Jongdae and Kyungsoo had gotten into a fight the first day Kyungsoo came to the hospital. It was messy but not one of them backed down especially Kyungsoo because he knew he was right and Jongdae was too stubborn to admit that he was wrong.

 

Jongdae frowned and leaned closer to Jongin. “The trauma that came in had to be taken care of immediately and Dr. Doh demanded to see the scans first before I could open up the kid so we had down time and he was taking out a clot from the kid’s brain and then he just said ‘I’m dating your brother, I just wanted to inform you’ he was lucky I was already scrubbed in and that I wasn’t holding any instrument or I would’ve thrown it to him” he said in frustration

 

“Dae hyung, please don’t fight with him” Jongin pouted and he knows that no one can resist his pouts except for Kyungsoo.

 

“I really don’t know why you like him Jonginnie. It’s not like he’s the best doctor here or the most handsome one. Hell, Oh Sehun is probably at the top of the list right after you so why Doh Kyungsoo?” Jongdae points out

 

Jongin doesn’t know, he really can’t point out when he started crushing on his senior. It’s just that Kyungsoo treats him differently; the other doctors would order him around because he’s a Kim and they’d also try to get on his good side because he’s a Kim but Kyungsoo never did that. He got to where he is because he pursued his career and succeeded on his own. He treats Jongin as an equal and maybe that’s the only thing Jongin wanted all along.

 

“Jongdae, you should make up with Kyungsoo~ssi. He had the decency to tell you that he’s dating our brother, you might as well just leave your bad blood behind and start anew” Minseok points out.

 

Junmyeon and Jongin nods in agreement and Jongdae wanted to curse because his baby brother looks so cute with hopeful eyes and a pout on his face.

 

“I’m not promising anything” Jongdae answers flatly

 

“But you’ll tell him that you’re sorry, for Jonginnie” Junmyeon points out

 

“Fine” Jongdae muttered

 

Jongin beamed at him and hugged him tightly. Jongdae thinks that saying sorry won’t be that big of a deal when it’s Jongin’s smiles and hugs are on the line. He's still indifferent regarding the relationship, he smells something fishy and he wouldn't let his younger brother get hurt, not on his watch. 

 

\--

 

It was hard to find a hole in the schedule not when Kyungsoo is more than always needed at the hospital and Jongin was being poached by surgeons to take a certain specialty to have him on their sides. It wasn’t until two weeks after that Jongin finally got out of the hospital with a pout on his face and a cute message to Kyungsoo, informing the older that he was heading home.

 

Jongin pulled out a 72 hour shift and he wanted to curse his desire for being in the OR that he accompanied his brothers to their surgeries.

 

He loves that Kyungsoo never rushed him. They spend time during break times to get something to eat, sometimes he brings Jongin diced fruits to eat in between surgeries and in return, Jongin gives Kyungsoo snack bars and jellies.

 

“Get in”

 

Jongin gaped at the sleek sedan parked in front of him. He didn’t have to lower his head to see that it was Kyungsoo inside, sitting at the driver’s seat because he has seen the man drive this car multiple times.

 

“I thought you…” Jongin mutters the unfinished thought

 

“I’m on-call but I can go home now. There are a lot of neurosurgeons tonight so I doubt that they need me” Kyungsoo explains without waiting for Jongin to finish the question.

 

“They always need you”

 

“Yeah but not tonight, princess.  Come on, I’ll take you home” Kyungsoo says softly

 

Jongin’s sure that he blushed at the pet name. Kyungsoo opened the door from the inside and motioned at the younger to climb in. Jongin always admired Kyungsoo's car because Kyungsoo always looked hot every time he gets off the car or drives with one hand on the wheel, the other resting somewhere that Jongin doesn't know where. 

 

“Your home?” Jongin asks shyly.

 

He has never stepped foot in Kyungsoo’s house and he had always wondered how it looked like. They only had two dates in the span of their two week-long relationship but it didn’t bother Kyungsoo a bit and he never actually told Jongin to just get it on and touch him. 

 

“Have you eaten?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

Jongin pouts and shakes his head before clicking his seat-belt in place. He forgot his dinner and lunch because he was too busy and he’s under the service of his older brother, Junmyeon. Even though his brothers always remind him to eat, he sometimes forget doing so, opting to sleep than eat. 

 

“I’ll cook for you” Kyungsoo says softly before driving away from the hospital parking lot.

 

 

Jongin honestly didn’t know what to expect when he stepped into Kyungsoo’s place. It was a bachelor’s pad, of course. It was clean, expensive and—“OMG YOU HAVE A DOG!” Jongin squealed and immediately went to his knees to welcome the rushing toy poodle that was about to circle around Kyungsoo’s feet.

 

Kyungsoo chuckles softly and shakes his head in amusement. “I have two but you should get up and shower. I assume you have clean clothes?” Kyungsoo asks him with a smile

 

Jongin toed off his shoes, placing it on the rack next to Kyungsoo’s shoes before he petted the cute dog again. “I used them all except for one clean boxer” Jongin admits

 

Kyungsoo nods at him and picks up his dog. “Ah. Take a shower, I probably have something from when Sehun stayed over. I’ll place it on the bed, you can use the bathroom inside the master’s suite. It’s upstairs, take a left and it’s the last door” Kyungsoo says before helping Jongin up to his feet.

 

“Why did Sehun stay over?” Jongin asks with a pout, he felt the jealousy already clouding his mind but he still waits for his boyfriend to tell him.

 

“I wonder why” Kyungsoo says lightly before leaving Jongin by the foyer.

 

Jongin pouts but he walks inside, it was styled as a loft apartment but it’s actually modern. Kyungsoo lives in one of those high-rise buildings near the hospital that is almost right across Jongin’s own apartment building but he won’t tell the older because he doesn’t want to be sent home.

 

There is a piano by the living room, right beside the floor to ceiling windows that shows the bright lights of Seoul. Kyungsoo has such a beautiful view of the city and Jongin is almost envious of it. The older also has the most spacious kitchen and dining area but all the colors are minimalist, no bright colors at all, except for the red coffee maker.

 

“Up. I’ll take a shower too after I get your clothes” Kyungsoo says before pushing Jongin towards the staircase.

 

Jongin hasn’t showered in almost two days and he’s pretty sure that Kyungsoo’s urging him to take a shower because he smells already. He hurried upstairs, ignoring Kyungsoo’s bedroom as he shuffled inside the bathroom.

 

The warm shower felt so nice and he lathered himself in Kyungsoo’s shower gel, shampoo and conditioner. He smells like Kyungsoo and he loves it so much that he forgets that the bathroom door was slightly ajar. “If you’re done moaning, dinner is almost done” Kyungsoo calls out

 

If only he could dig himself a grave right now, he would but instead he walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped on his waist only to be disappointed that Kyungsoo had already left the room. There was a set of clothes placed on the bed and it was just only now that Jongin finally admired the serenity of Kyungsoo’s room.

 

It was simple but it had more personality than the living room. There were posters, a corkboard with pictures pinned on it and there are also stuffed toys placed at the windowsill that was turned into a reading nook. Two dog beds were placed right by the window sill and cute toys were perched on those beds as well.

 

Sehun’s clothes fitted him perfectly because they almost had the same frame except for the fact that Jongin is more muscular than the lean form of Sehun. He put on the clothes hurriedly and took another towel to try his hair before heading downstairs.

 

He was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a plain white shirt in the middle of autumn and he just wanted to thank Kyungsoo for having heated floors. Jongin reached out for his phone that was in his pocket the moment he saw Kyungsoo at the kitchen, wearing a fucking star-filled apron and black rimmed specs. It’s like his fucking wet dream came true and decides to fuck him up all shades into next week.

 

“Oh, it really fits you” Kyungsoo says in amusement once he saw Jongin

 

All that he wanted to do was suffocate himself with the towel that’s draped around his shoulders but God, Kyungsoo is so cute! “I wasn’t jerking off” he blurts out without thinking and he literally slaps his hand to his mouth in embarrassment.

 

Kyungsoo chuckles and nods at him. “I was only teasing you. Help me set up the table, I re-heated a few leftovers and cooked pasta, is pasta okay for you?” he asks softly

 

Jongin nodded dumbly and took the bowls and plates from Kyungsoo before he made his way to the dining area to set the table.

 

A few hours later, Jongin wants to thank whatever reason that made Kyungsoo’s dick flaccid as fuck because he was never going to have this glorious meal that he had just eaten if that didn’t happen. Kyungsoo really cooks damn well and he looks so damn cute eating and damn it Jongin knows he’s fucking falling faster than his fluttering heartbeat.

 

“So……..”

 

“Do you want to stay the night or do you want me to send you home?” Kyungsoo asks after they finished clearing up the dishes.

 

“No!” Jongin answered in panic, his hands were flailing around, a bit embarrassed that he almost yelled at his bos-boyfriend

 

Kyungsoo smirks at him, making him blush like a fucking teenager. He pushes away from the older and sinks at the corner of the couch to put some distance between them. “I mean I haven’t spent time with you so…I just want to stay?” Jongin explains softly.

 

Kyungsoo chuckles and nods at him. “Okay. You do know that you’re not required to force yourself into anything, right? We’re just doing this to help me with my problem” he points out

 

Ah. There’s the heartbreak. The truth and the fact that Jongin didn’t want to hear. He was foolish enough to believe that they’re doing this because Kyungsoo miraculously liked him. Kyungsoo just offered to date so that Jongin wouldn’t feel bad about touching another person. Fucking hell. 

 

“Are you listening?” Kyungsoo’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and Jongin could feel the older staring at him.

 

“Uh, sorry. I was thinking about something. What did you say?” he asked again after clearing his throat.

 

“I said that you should rest since you’ve been at the hospital for three days. I’ll still be here tomorrow” Kyungsoo says with a soft smile.

 

It should’ve been heartwarming but all Jongin could feel was the cold rejection that was eating him up. “Uhm, yes I should do that. Thank you, hyung. Good night” Jongin said, standing up but stopped walking away because he didn’t know where to go.

 

“Take my room” Kyungsoo suggests quietly.

 

“Just point me to the guest room, please” Jongin answers back without looking at Kyungsoo, his voice was already ready to shatter and he will probably cry because of the impending heartbreak. 

 

Kyungsoo points out the direction and Jongin was just thankful that the room was here on the first floor and not near Kyungsoo’s bedroom. He really wants to go home right now but he doesn’t want to worry Kyungsoo by doing that especially now that it’s already late.

 

 

Jongin frowns as soon as he gets into the room. He takes out his phone and walks to the bed before typing a message to his best friend.

 

**Jongin _:_** _I think you made a mistake suggesting that he should seek help from me. I hate you_

 

The reply came faster than he expected as he was just fixing the blanket over his body, ready to sulk and watch cute puppy videos to ease his broken heart. 

 

**Sehun:** _What the fuck? You actually haven’t fucked yet? I didn’t send my cousin to you because I thought you had God hands. I sent him to you because he needs your love, your sickening sweet Jongin-like love_

 

**Jongin:** _wtf!! He’s your cousin and you didn’t tell me!? I told you about my desires you fucking ass!_

 

**Sehun:** _and I sent him 2 u. don’t know why u’re still mad. Stop texting me. I am meeting up with someone. If you really can’t help Kyungie hyung to get it up then I don’t know what else I could do to help._

 

**Jongin:** _I’m with him at his house. He told me not to think about it too much since he’s only doing it for…._

 

**Sehun:** _U BOTH R STUPID. BYE. DOCTOR OUT. SEHUN OUT. FIGURE IT OUT._

 

A knock on the door made Jongin jump and almost throw his phone away but when he saw Kyungsoo peeking curiously from the door frame, he sighed and looked away.

 

“Jongin, you seem upset when you left. I brought ice-cream?” Kyungsoo says softly, he tilted his head to the side and Jongin wanted to maybe hug his fake boyfriend and melt around him because he's so cute and squishy. 

 

Things like these makes Jongin want to melt, especially because it’s Kyungsoo who’s calling out to him warmly. His voice always sounded so soothing and warm. Like melted chocolate and honey dripping all over his bod--stop thinking that way, Kim Jongin! 

 

“You said that we should rest” Jongin points out flatly, still ignoring Kyungsoo and the fact that his heart wants to explode.

 

“I know but I don’t want you to sleep upset. I’m sorry if I said something. I’m really bad at explaining things” Kyungsoo says quietly

 

Jongin finally looked at Kyungsoo who was still at the door, holding a pint of strawberry ice cream and two spoons. Jongin pouts at him but moves his blanket away for Kyungsoo.

 

“I said something that made you upset, do you mind telling me what it is?” Kyungsoo inquires.

 

Kyungsoo pulled the lid off the ice cream and set it aside the bedside table before he sits next to Jongin on the bed. He actually asked his cousin about trivial things about Jongin before asking him to come over just to get ready if ever the younger wanted to watch movies or eat a certain flavor of ice cream.

 

“No. I don’t want to talk about it” Jongin answers, still pouting at Kyungsoo

 

Kyungsoo thinks that Jongin is really adorable even though the younger usually looks too cool to approach at the hospital. He always sees the younger being babied by his brothers but when it comes to work, no one can say anything bad to Jongin because he really works well.

 

“Well can I apologize for it?” Kyungsoo asks, handing the tub to Jongin because he knew that this is the younger’s favorite flavor.

 

Jongin shakes his head as he stabs his spoon on the ice cream, taking out a huge spoonful. “You don’t even know what it is about” he points out.

 

“And you don’t want to tell me but I don’t want you to be upset because of it so I’m sorry, Jongin” Kyungsoo apologized softly, reaching out a hand to place on Jongin’s thigh.

 

He had noticed how much the younger is comfortable with skinship, especially with his best friend Sehun. It almost irked Kyungsoo to a point that he told his cousin to stop being so touchy with his resident Kim because it’s not right. Sehun just laughed at him but minimized their skinship to pacify Kyungsoo's irritation.

 

Jongin looks at Kyungsoo with wide eyes and it wasn’t because he just had a brain freeze or the fact that Kyungsoo is touching his thigh, it was because of the surprising tone that Kyungsoo used to call out his name. 

 

“Can you call me that again?” he asked softly

 

Kyungsoo blinks at him in confusion, digging his spoon in the tub to take a bite of the ice cream. “Jongin?” he asks after swallowing the cold treat.

 

“Again” Jongin muttered, his eyes were trained into Kyungsoo’s lips, he watched as the older man’s lips parted and said “Jongin”

 

“Thank you” Jongin says softly, lowering his head because of the shy smile that he can’t hide and the reddening of his cheeks that he doesn’t want Kyungsoo to see.

 

“Ah, it’s because I always call you Kim at the hospital. I’ll call you Jongin more often” Kyungsoo says lightly and he moves closer to Jongin.

 

 Jongin didn't need a minute or an hour to melt into Kyungsoo's side, with the older placing an arm around his back to hold him gently but make him feel secure at the same time. Maybe, just maybe Kyungsoo likes him as well. It wouldn't hurt to hope, would it?

 

\--

 


	3. Lungs, Hearts, Brain and Hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still unsure about this chapter but I'm posting it. Is it too early for this?  
> Have fun!!~~~

 

 

Kyungsoo is the complete opposite of Jongin. Kyungsoo has pale skin, puffy cheeks and he’s so cute while Jongin has bronze tanned skin, sharp facial features and he’s not cute even though everyone says otherwise.

 

“Why the fuck are you pouting this early?” Sehun nudges his elbow on Jongin’s side as soon as he got near the man.

 

Jongin is on Jongdae’s service today because Jongdae asked Kyungsoo to trade residents. Jongin is really bad with kids and he hates lying especially to kids because they are so pure and they shouldn’t be tainted.

 

“I miss Soo hyung, he’s been busy and I’m not in his service” Jongin pouts and moves to Sehun’s side.

 

He’s probably going to hear about random gossips later again about him and Sehun but he doesn’t care. He misses Kyungsoo and it’s been more than a week since he had a decent night with the older. After his sleepover, they tried to date during free times but it’s not enough for Jongin.

 

Sehun grunts and pinches Jongin’s side making the older yelp in pain. “For fuck’s sake. Have you even fucked? I mean touched. Jongin the point of this relationship aside from you falling so deep and fast is that you should help out your boyfriend. I mean fine don’t fix his _problem_ just teach him how to let people in” Sehun pointed out bluntly.

 

“What?” Jongin asked in confusion

 

“OMG. I thought you were just kidding me when you were all clueless but damn you’re really clueless, aren’t you?” Sehun asked in surprise, he's almost baffled at the confusion masking the other's face

 

“About what?” Jongin asked, even more confused about what his best friend is talking about.

 

“Come here” Sehun says, pulling Jongin’s arm and they were already rushing through the corridors.

 

They stopped near the hospital cafeteria and they saw Kyungsoo eating alone even though there were other neurosurgeons there and other fellows that were probably the same batch as Kyungsoo. “Why is he—“ before Jongin could even finish his question, he saw a doctor drop a dirty tissue right in front of Kyungsoo where his tray of food was.

 

Jongin was already halfway through the door when Sehun pulled him back to observe again. They watched as Kyungsoo got up and tossed the contents of his tray into the trash, putting the tray back into the bin before heading out of the cafeteria.

 

“What the fuck was that?” Jongin grits out, he was close to exploding but Sehun kept his hand tightly wrapped on Jongin's arm.

 

“Look, Kyungsoo hyung is the youngest fellow. Just like you, he advanced on many things. I’m still a year under you even though I got advanced classes but Kyungsoo hyung is so smart and he got picked by your father to work here during his internship. Let’s just say not everyone appreciated that and not to mention the fight between your brother and the new intern, Kyungsoo hyung, he really turned a lot of people into enemies that night” Sehun says in both frustration and annoyance.

 

He didn’t want Jongin to see his Kyungsoo hyung like this but he needs Jongin to understand where he’s coming from. Jongin is just as shy as Kyungsoo but he can easily open up a person and that’s what Sehun wants for Kyungsoo, to have someone to lean on and feel safe.

 

“So you’re saying..” Jongin trails off

 

“I’m not saying that the reason for his problem is because he’s too closed off, I also think he’s too stressed to even think about his sexual pleasure. Anyway, I just want you to maybe open him up? It’s actually surprising that he’s comfortable with you. I would’ve thought he’d put up a fight when I pointed him to you but now he asks me if you are free for lunch or some shit like that. Just, don’t stress out too much Jongin. Kyungsoo hyung is not rushing and he may be short with words but his actions always make up for it” Sehun explains to him.

 

 

Jongin was determined as he stormed off to go to the fellow doctor’s lounge, holding a takeout from a restaurant down the street. He’s being paged by his brother for something but he needs to do this first. When he got into the lounge, there were a few doctors there who looked up as soon as he stepped foot inside the room.

 

Some of them stood up to acknowledge him, some even bowed to greet him but his eyes were locked to the man sitting on the couch, with his eyes closed and a very stone-like facial expression.

 

“Hyung” he calls out, not wanting to wake up his boyfriend if he was really sleeping

 

But Kyungsoo’s eyes opened as soon as he heard Jongin and when their eyes met, the younger gave him a wide smile. Kyungsoo could notice the worry on the younger’s eyes but he didn’t comment on it. He waved at the younger and motioned him to take a seat.

 

“I brought you lunch? Have you eaten? I need to go soon though, I have an OR schedule with Jongdae hyung” Jongin says hurriedly.

 

He placed the paper bag in front of the coffee table where Kyungsoo was seating but he didn’t move to sit.

 

“Uhm. Thank you. You shouldn’t have bothered, Jonginnie” Kyungsoo said quietly

 

Jongin beamed at Kyungsoo because of the nickname. He leaned closer before placing a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. “Eat your food. I’d hate it if it goes to waste. Page me if you need me, Dr. Doh” he says lightly

 

“You’re not in my service” Kyungsoo points out flatly but Jongin was already halfway through the door.

 

Kyungsoo heard the snickers around the room and even though he wanted to coo at Jongin’s sweetness, he knew that this would only bring him more trouble.  He stood up and picked up the paper bag but the bag was ripped off of his hand and tossed back to the table.

 

The other cardio fellow pushed his shoulder and smirked at him. “Must be good that you’re dating the boss’s son” some said and Kyungsoo just wanted to punch the shit out of people but he can’t do that.

 

He doesn’t want to disappoint his parents or Jongin’s father since the latter was the one who brought him here and vouched for him.

 

They all got surprised when Jongin came back with a scowl on his face and a glare so sharp that it can almost wound up someone. “Must be good that I’m dating my senior. If you have nothing better to do, then do your jobs. The residents are here but we’re not here to save your asses when you mess up. If you have all the time gossiping around then you probably have more time to save lives. Go do your jobs” Jongin bit out sharply before glaring at one person, the person behind Kyungsoo.

 

Jongin walked towards them, putting Kyungsoo behind him and he towered over the other attending that’s probably more than 2 years ahead of him. “Touch my boyfriend again, you won’t only get sued, I’ll make sure you lose your license” he threatened.

 

He knows that his gaze can cut a person in half if he willed it but he doesn’t need that now. What he needs is for people to know that if they mess with Kyungsoo, they mess with him too. He doesn’t care if he’s young. He might have not asked help from his father or brothers for things like this but he’s willing to seek out their help if it means protecting Kyungsoo.

 

“Jongin, you’re being paged” Kyungsoo says quietly, putting a hand on Jongin’s back to calm the younger down.

 

The younger let out a breath of annoyance before he spun around to face Kyungsoo. “Let’s just eat out” Jongin says softly.

 

Kyungsoo shook his head and gave the younger a small smile. “The food is here, I’ll heat it up. Go to your brother. I don’t want to get into another argument with him” Kyungsoo says lightly before pulling the younger out of the lounge.

 

Jongin still looked pissed off and he really looks handsome but Kyungsoo doesn’t want the younger to be upset even more. He already threatened a senior doctor and he doesn’t want Jongin to get in any more trouble.

 

“Fine. Tell me if someone’s bothering you. I’ll make sure my father hears it” Jongin says firmly, frowning at Kyungsoo.

 

“Don’t treat me like a baby” Kyungsoo teased him.

 

Jongin pouts at him and hugs him tightly. He could feel the younger calming down and he didn’t have the heart to move away from the hug since it’s their first hug. “But you are my baby” Jongin mumbles, placing a soft kiss on Kyungsoo’s head.

 

Kyungsoo held his breath because he’s already being intoxicated by the wonderful scent of the younger. He gently pushed Jongin away and glared at him for being too cheesy. “Shut up, go to the OR and save a life” he said and pushed Jongin away even more

 

The younger grinned brightly at him before nodding at him. “I’m willing to save yours too! Just let me!” Jongin called out before he ran towards the elevator to catch the lift.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo’s breath hitched as he watched from the operating room gallery. He could see how precise Jongin’s movements were as he took control, stitching up the liver. He knows that the younger hasn’t declared a specialty yet and he also knows that people are trying to get them to their departments because they need a Kim working alongside with them.

 

Kyungsoo has worked with Jongin a lot of times already but he had never allowed the younger to do a huge surgery. Sometimes he chooses Jongin to assist him but he has never placed him and his god-like hands in the primary position. He has always thought that everyone was just gushing about the youngest Kim because he’s handsome, tall, tanned-skin and of course, a Kim. But seeing how Jongin works now makes him see things differently.

 

“He’s good, right? When we were in med school I had a hard time catching up with him and I already knew that I was going to be a urologist but Jongin, he was just taking everything easily. He’s like a book full of knowledge and even though he didn’t want to study, his brain would still retain everything” Sehun says quietly as he sat next to Kyungsoo to watch Jongin work a miracle on his dying patient.

 

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asked flatly

 

The younger wasn’t chatty at all but he also gives out the most random advices and stories that Kyungsoo has no clue about. In the OR, Jongin’s patient was already coding, the attending was already panicking but Jongin was just calm.

 

Truthfully whenever Kyungsoo sees Jongin in the OR or even just discussing about patients, he feels that he sees another man, someone who’s firmer that the soft Jongin that is currently his boyfriend. Even the nurses call him a nickname, Kai. Because just like the name Kai, Jongin is the one who brings light to the dawn, Jongin is the sun. But for Kyungsoo, he thinks that the most appropriate meaning is the Chinese one, Kai means open and what Jongin is doing right now, is opening possible routes to go to.

 

“I’m just telling you something about him. He’s my best friend, you know. We tried the get an apartment together, die with the rent together, suffer med school together, get ourselves drunk and mess up together. He’s like the older brother that I always wanted to have, I wouldn’t want him hurt” Sehun points out

 

The comment caught Kyungsoo’s attention, he pulls his gaze away from the OR and looked at his cousin who was still looking forward. “Who’s going to hurt him?” Kyungsoo asks carefully.

 

After the confrontation in the fellows’ lounge, the doctors ignored Kyungsoo even more but that’s fine rather than being bullied every single day. He has Jongin to thank for even though he told the younger that he shouldn’t have done that.

 

Sehun shrugs at him and stands up. “I don’t know hyung. Why did you even ask him to be in a relationship if you’re going to end up using him anyway. I have to go, have to look at some penises” Sehun waves him off before walking away.

 

Kyungsoo kept his gaze locked on Sehun’s broad shoulders as he pondered over the blunt words of the younger. Sehun explicitly warned him before that Kyungsoo should only seek professional help from Jongin but when Kyungsoo saw the look on Jongin’s face after he admitted his problem, he knew right then that the younger wouldn’t be comfortable in doing anything near to touching him as long as they have a work relationship.

 

It was wrong and he could’ve been fired by the Director because of fraternizing with a junior but of course shortly after he asked Jongin to date him, he went straight to Jongin’s father to ask for consent, it was wrong to do that without Jongin but it was the right thing to do to save both of their jobs.

 

Now that Kyungsoo could see Jongin work, maybe he should be the one persuading the younger to pick neurosurgery as his specialty, they need more neurosurgeons like Jongin.

 

Kyungsoo was about to leave when someone else came into the room, he briefly thought that it was Sehun but when he tilted his head to the side, he saw another Kim standing by the door way.

 

“Look, whatever you’re doing with my brother just stop. If you hurt him I swear to every God that I will burn you and your career down” Jongdae says sharply, his tone was firm and even his expression was drawn tight.

 

Jongdae is the most approachable brother among the Kims, he’s the one always talking to the nurses, the doctors, the families and he’s especially good with kids. He has this bright smile that shows the kitten curl of the corner of his lips and his eyes are always bright.

 

This is why it’s a surprise that he’s not only glaring at Kyungsoo but also looking as if he’s ready to fight the younger.

 

“Why do you all keep on saying that? I’m not going to hurt Jongin” Kyungsoo points out as he stands up.

 

He’s not much taller than Jongdae and he’s not that bigger than Jongdae too but if it comes to a violent fight, he could probably beat Jongdae since the latter looks like he couldn’t hurt a fly.

 

“You weren’t interested in my brother before so what changed?” Jongdae asked bluntly

 

The glint on his eyes made Kyungsoo shiver, he wonders if Jongdae knows about his problem or if Jongin told any of his brothers.  “How much older are you than me?” he asks to change the topic, he doesn’t want to argue with Jongdae, not now and not after they already fixed their previous bad blood.

 

“Old enough for you to call me hyung” Jongdae answers smugly.

 

That was a fact but, Kyungsoo could see through his lie and he’s sure that Jongdae is not that much older than him and that the man wouldn't want to be addressed as hyung, Jongdae's probably give or take two years but not more than that. He’s the youngest attending pediatric surgeon too.

 

“Look, Jongdae~ssi.  Your brother, Jongin is not that hard to like. He’s kind, he’s sweet and he’s talented. I didn’t ask him to date me just to hurt him” Kyungsoo assured him.

 

He admires the older Kims because they not only spoil Jongin, they also grill their youngest whenever they are at the OR. They don’t go easy on Jongin because he’s the youngest, it’s always a different topic when it’s about work and they make sure they don’t give special attention to Jongin during work.

 

Jongdae stepped aside once Kyungsoo stopped next to the door that was being blocked by Jongdae. The older grabbed the arm of Kyungsoo and held on tightly to make a point.

 

Kyungsoo could’ve pulled away his arm even though Jongdae’s holding it with a death grip. How is that possible when he’s this small? Their eyes met and Kyungsoo could only stare back at Jongdae’s glare.

 

“He already broke his heart and bones once for someone. I won’t ever let that happen. So before you put the thought of hurting my brother in your mind, you better be sure that you are ready for the consequences” Jongdae warned, every word held a heavy weight and he kept on piling them up on Kyungsoo.

 

“Understood” Kyungsoo answers flatly before pulling his arm away and walking out of the door

 

 --

 

The first touch came fleeting almost as shy as Jongin. He was at the on-call room, willing himself to sleep when the door opened and closed. He heard the door lock clicked and that’s what made him look down from the top deck of the bunk bed. They weren’t allowed to lock the on call rooms because people need sleep and doctors use the on call rooms to sleep.

 

“I hope I didn’t wake you” the smooth voice said softly, it was almost a whisper that echoed in the silent room.

 

Jongin didn’t have to see the man hovering in the shadows to know that it was his senior, his boyfriend, Kyungsoo. He reached for the night-light near his railing and flipped it on. He sees Kyungsoo heading towards the bunk bed with a frown on his face.

 

Jongin sat up to make space just as Kyungsoo was climbing the ladder to the top bed. “It’s fine. Are you alright?” Jongin asks quietly

 

“My patient died. He came in with a GSW on the head, he coded as soon as I pulled out the bullet”

 

Jongin is a touchy person, he needs hugs for comforts and he needs hugs for everything but he knows that Kyungsoo doesn’t look like the man who needs hugs but right now, Jongin is feeling bad as well so this will excuse the need to hug Kyungsoo right?

 

Jongin reaches for Kyungsoo as soon as the older sat at the corner of the bed, his legs dangling on the side of the bed. He pulls Kyungsoo closer to him until his front was on Kyungsoo’s back, not bothering about the invasion of Kyungsoo’s space. He locked his arms around Kyungsoo and leaned forward to cover the older’s body with his.

 

“I’m not the hugging type” Kyungsoo mutters but he didn’t do anything to release himself from Jongin’s embrace.

 

The younger hums in agreement but he still wrapped Kyungsoo with his arms tightly. He places his head on the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck and he breathes in. Kyungsoo smells like vanilla and oranges laced with his own manly scent. Kyungsoo’s head fell back on Jongin’s shoulder as he let the younger place soft kisses on his neck.

 

Kyungsoo tilts his head to the side to give more access to the younger. He has never sought for physical comfort whenever bad things happen to him, in fact he has never sought comfort from anyone else. Jongin just gives him the warmest feelings ever, it’s disturbing, it’s new and it’s not that bad to feel.

 

A soft moan slipped past his mouth when Jongin darted his tongue out, tracing the corotid on Kyungsoo’s neck. “Touch me, please” he whispers softly, urging Jongin’s hand down to his navel.

 

The younger allowed himself to be guided by Kyungsoo, he continued nibbling, sucking, licking Kyungsoo’s neck while slowly untying the knot that Kyungsoo tied on his bottom scrub pants. He hasn’t change out of his scrub suit so he probably came straight from the operating room, Jongin thinks that it must've been really bad if Kyungsoo rushed to find him.

 

Kyungsoo sucked in a breath once Jongin slipped his hand inside his pants, completely shying away from his manhood. Jongin traced the band of Kyungsoo’s boxer as his thumb rubbed circles on Kyungsoo’s navel. It’s soothing than enticing but it’s also arousing. If only Kyungsoo could feel, he’d probably feel himself twitch. “I thought you can’t get it up?” Jongin huskily asks, his mouth was so close to Kyungsoo’s ear that the older shivered when the younger nipped his earlobe harshly.

 

“During sex” Kyungsoo breathed out.

 

Jongin’s palm inched inside Kyungsoo’s boxer slowly. Everything was so slow that it’s close to infuriating but every touch sends tingles on Kyungsoo’s brain. He’s close to losing his sanity and he hasn’t even been touched yet.

 

Kyungsoo was hard, he can get hard but he can’t make it hard when sex is the topic, he goes limp before sex and he just loses his urge to have sex. He can feel Jongin’s own throbbing length behind him, aligned with his spine, pressing gently as if the younger was stopping himself from rutting against Kyungsoo’s back.

 

“Touch me, Jongin” the whisper sounded as good as a command

 

Jongin’s touch was careful, the shyness and uncertainty showed as his forefinger touched the tip of Kyungsoo’s tip, gathering the precum that was oozing out of the tip. He pulled out his hand, making Kyungsoo whine and follow the hand with his gaze.

 

Jongin eased back, taking his lips away from Kyungsoo’s collarbone only to part his lips and suck on his finger. “That’s dirty!” Kyungsoo whined as he watched Jongin lick his finger before removing itwith a pop. “It’s not dirty. You taste sweet. I knew it” Jongin mumbled, he was sure that Kyungsoo would taste sweet because of the older's diet. 

 

He pressed his chest on Kyungsoo’s back and this time both his hands worked on getting Kyungsoo’s pants lowered. Kyungsoo lifted his hip up to help the younger push his pants down to his thighs. It wasn’t comfortable but they take what they can get.

 

“I see that you’re well-endowed” Jongin mumbled, his finger tracing the vein on Kyungsoo's length, making the older shiver.

 

“And I can feel that you are, as well” Kyungsoo answers back with a smirk

 

The blush on Jongin’s face made Kyungsoo want to tease the younger even more but the younger wrapped his huge hand around his erection making him throw away all the words that was filling his mind.

 

Jongin’s lips found Kyungsoo’s ear as he slowly pumped Kyungsoo’s length, dry. “I bet this would look good as you fuck in me. It would fill me up real good”

 

The idea sounded so good but his body reacted differently. Kyungsoo could already feel his boner dying down and he doesn’t want to. He wants to just get off right now. He wants Jongin to touch him.

 

“No. Jongin” he mutters, tipping his head back to lay on Jongin’s shoulder.

 

The younger brought his hand up to Kyungsoo’s face and before even saying anything, Kyungsoo already spat on it. Jongin spread the precum and spit on Kyungsoo’s length before pumping in again in a faster pace.

 

“What? You want me to top you?” Jongin asks, his teeth tugged on Kyungsoo’s earlobe before tracing it with his tongue.

 

The dirty talk is what Kyungsoo always wanted. Jongin and his husky voice laced with lust and comfort was everything Kyungsoo has ever wanted in his partner but his body says otherwise.

 

Kyungsoo feels his brain debating whether to stop getting aroused or just let go. His brain is battling himself and he doesn’t know how to win against himself.

 

“No. Stop talking” Kyungsoo mutters, willing Jongin to shut up before his erection dies down.

 

Jongin seemed to get what he was trying to say because his pace got faster and he started pressing his own hips on Kyungsoo’s back. How he could multitask was beyond Kyungsoo because all he feels right now is the warmth of Jongin’s hand and his hug. Kyungsoo tilted his head to the side and caught Jongin's lips with his, his palm pressed on Jongin's cheek to pull him closer. They haven't kissed before and this is something that Kyungsoo shouldn't have waited for. The younger's lips felt right on his, the plumpness and the softness of Jongin's lips were absolutely breathtaking. 

 

 

Before he knew it, he already came with a cry of Jongin’s name. He bit his lower lip as his hips lifted up to thrust on Jongin’s fist as he calms down from his orgasm. “I have to help you with yours” he mumbles

 

Jongin places a soft kiss on his cheek and reached for tissues and wet wipes. He cleaned Kyungsoo thoroughly before pulling back the older’s pants and boxers then he lied back on the bed, taking the older with him. “It’s fine, hyung” he muttered and kissed Kyungsoo’s temple.

 

All the softness made Kyungsoo nauseous. He’s not used to this, he’s used to flings, blowjobs, hand jobs, and just complete awkwardness after those times. He has stopped trying to get blowjobs or hand jobs from people because they always expect sex and Kyungsoo couldn’t give that to them even if he tried his best.

 

“It’s sex, right? Why? Did someone break your heart that’s why you don’t want to have sex? Are you a virgin?” Jongin asks bluntly

 

Kyungsoo shouldn’t be surprised anymore but he is, because Jongin is always shy to ask about things even though he blurts out the most random things. They were both lying on their sides, with Jongin as the bigger spoon, keeping Kyungsoo warm and comforted.

 

“I’m not a virgin but I haven’t tried it with men. It’s not that someone broke my heart, I just. I don’t know” Kyungsoo mutters, allowing his eyes to close.

 

“No sex with men, so you’re a virgin” Jongin points out, his words were starting to slur and he’s really already tired.

 

“I never actually thought about it. It’s not like I exclusively like women. I like you, I’m attracted to you too so I don’t think my sexuality is the problem here” Kyungsoo answers, feeling the hug of Jongin get tighter.

 

“Then what is?” the younger asks.

 

“I just can’t have sex. It makes me feel disgusted” he admits quietly

 

Now that he's saying it out loud, it sounds almost unbelievable. When he was a bit younger, sex was always something he wanted to enjoy. He's not the guy who goes around and fucks around but sex with his ex girlfriend was close to amazing but it was never enough. How can he tell Jongin about that when it's the most embarrassing thing to say.

 

Kyungsoo waits for Jongin’s answer but the younger only hums in response. He feels the younger bury his nose on the top of his head before breathing in softly. He allows himself to lean back and rest on Jongin’s front, he can still briefly feel the younger’s erection but he decides to just sleep like his boyfriend. They can discuss this next time when they’re both not deprived of sleep.

 

\--


	4. Take me somewhere deep, I'll show you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lightly tracing patterns in the sand and maybe on Jongin's back.  
> I am a bit confused with what I wrote. >.<  
> Enjoy!~~ <3

 

 

The next time came pretty fast after Jongin spent the days in between learning about Kyungsoo’s body and how the other gets aroused. It wasn’t a conquest. It was just always random, sometimes in the car, in the cinema, in the bathroom at the hospital or Kyungsoo’s house.

 

What bothers Kyungsoo is that the younger always holds back, the younger had never had his release, his whole attention was always focused on Kyungsoo and that’s why he wants to know why.

 

“You don’t like me” Kyungsoo says rather than asks

 

He knows asking would lead him to hope and if ever Jongin rejects him, he doesn’t want to be disappointed. They’re eating out because it’s the start of their 48 hour day off after the busiest days at the hospital. Kyungsoo invited Jongin to have dinner with him after their shift and he made a reservation in the Japanese restaurant that Jongin has wanted to try. He honestly wants to spend more time with the man even if his mind wants to stop him from doing so. 

 

Jongin’s eyes widened, forcing himself to swallow the California maki that he was eating. “I like you” he says out loud. Jongin isn’t the one who holds back on his feelings, he always says it bluntly to avoid problems. He’s very honest and he expects Kyungsoo to know his intentions clearly.

 

“Then why do you always make me come and you don’t want me to do the same to you” Kyungsoo asks bluntly

 

He watched as the redness rushed on Jongin’s cheeks, the younger immediately lowered his head to hide his face but Kyungsoo wasn’t having it. He reached for Jongin’s chin and tilted it up. “Tell me” he says quietly

 

“I’m waiting” Jongin answers, it was so soft and so low that Kyungsoo almost didn’t catch what he said.

 

“For?” Kyungsoo asks

 

Jongin bit his lower lip and he looked at Kyungsoo like a puppy. “Your first time…” he mutters

 

“Jongin” Kyungsoo doesn’t want to disappoint Jongin but he knows that having sex is not on the table for now. They’ve tried it with the dirty talk but Kyungsoo always goes limp and Jongin has to arouse him again to get him off.

 

Jongin smiled softly and reached for Kyungsoo’s hand. “I know, but I want you to feel it… I feel selfish already that I’m always touching you, I want to take care of you before you take care of me” he admits shyly before pulling back his hand.

 

Kyungsoo wants to kick and coo at the younger at the same time. Jongin is always so sweet and so reserved that he really feels bad for proposing an arrangement like this. Jongin doesn’t deserve a person like him. Jongin is giving, selfless and he cares for people a lot.

 

“Do you want to come with me?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

He placed tempura on Jongin’s plate then he placed vegetables too because the younger was barely eating. Jongin’s eyes widened, he was about to choke on his drink when he figured out that Kyungsoo meant it literally than a sexual innuendo.

 

“Where?” Jongin asked before taking a bite of his tempura.

 

“I asked for a 3-day vacation leave before Christmas. Do you want to come with me?” Kyungsoo asked again

 

“Uhm. Are you sure?” Jongin mutters, unsure.

 

He looked at Kyungsoo who was busy grilling beef and watching the 4-cheese okonomiyaki on the other side of the grill pan.

 

“I’m asking you now, I won’t ask again” the older answers

 

Jongin’s eyes widened “Of course! I want to go!” he blurts out

 

“Okay, submit your form later so they can approve it. I can fix the travel details, just message me your details when you get home”

 

“I’m not going home with you?” Jongin asks in confusion

 

They’ve already talked about Jongin staying over but now that Jongin just admitted that big thing, Kyungsoo couldn’t tell Jongin to sleepover. He’s hitting it too close to home, becoming too attached not only to Kyungsoo but his dogs as well. He doesn’t want to hurt Jongin so he has to but some distance between them so they can both figure out what to do.

 

“No, you wait until our vacation. My problem can wait, Jongin” Kyungsoo says lightly

 

 

 

Jongin receives a text, no cross that out, he received multiple texts from Sehun that were dated last night. He didn’t check his phone at all after he got home. He had to send the vacation leave form and notify his family and then take a shower. He passed out soon after and now he woke up in the middle of the day.

 

He checked the messages on his phone and it’s all from Sehun.

 

**Sehun:** _I thought we’re on duty until Christmas so we can actually ask for a vacation leave during Christmas!_

 

**Sehun:** _You deserter! Your brother couldn’t stop talking about your leave form! It got approved btw_

 

**Sehun:** _Where r u!? It’s our day off! I’m coming to pick u up after lunch!_

 

**Sehun:** _Kim Jongin, ISTG if you’re still asleep when I get there, I will hit u_

 

**Sehun:** _Dude. Let’s not leave. Stay home. I'm omw lets sleep in or something. Be there in a few_

 

Jongin checked the time stamp and it was sent 30 minutes ago. He knows that Sehun doesn’t live far from him so he’s wondering why the—never mind, the buzzer already rang and he’s pretty sure Sehun would’ve entered the code before he can get out of his bed.

 

Just as he said, his bedroom door opened after a few minutes. Sehun looked like a mess, still handsome but a mess. He’s wearing tracksuit pants, a white shirt and a baseball cap. “What is wrong with you?” Jongin asks, waving his hand at the very casual outfit of his best friend.

 

Sehun ignores him and walks straight to Jongin’s walk in closet. The next thing Jongin hears was the sound of something falling down so he bolted up and walks to the walk in closet only to find Sehun opening a huge suitcase.

 

“You’re going with Kyungsoo hyung right?” he asks but he doesn’t spare Jongin a glance as he kicks the smaller suitcase towards Jongin.

 

“Yes” Jongin mutters

 

He knows that it’s useless to lie to Sehun because the younger always knows thing, that and he’s also Kyungsoo’s cousin.

 

“Leave now. I mean, let’s pack and you should both leave early” Sehun says with a smile that creeps out Jongin.

 

Jongin opened the small suitcase and he lets Sehun walk around the closet, pulling out clothes from the cabinets and racks.

 

“Dude, this is at least a week early from my leave” Jongin points out

 

He hates packing and Sehun loves packing so he’s not going to disturb his friend on doing just that. He opts for packing the important things instead, to put in his carry-on luggage.

 

“I called your hyung” Sehun says after he has finished throwing clothes on the ottoman next to the suitcase. He counts the clothes before falling on the floor, sitting and starts to fold the clothes.

 

“Which hyung” Jongin asks

 

Sehun glances at him just to make sure that Jongin was already packing his essentials and undergarments. “The eldest, obviously and he said you can leave anytime. I also called Kyungsoo hyung, he said he’ll be here after he packs up. Your Junmyeon hyung already took care of your tickets and accommodations so now I’m helping you pack” Sehun says quietly

 

“I haven’t bought my Christmas gift for Kyungsoo hyung” Jongin frowns, it was barely the second week of December and he’s still thinking about his gift for the older but now he has to go away before he can buy it.

 

He doesn’t know why Sehun wants him to leave but he’s okay to hang out longer with Kyungsoo. He loves hanging out with Kyungsoo, because the older is more than interesting. They have the same likes, regarding books, songs and movies.

 

“Just fuck him and say Merry Christmas” Sehun says nonchalantly

 

Jongin’s cheeks heat up and he throws the closest thing to him, a pair of rolled socks, to Sehun who caught it before it can hit his face. “No” Jongin mutters

 

“What? Do you think that I’m deaf? I hear moans coming from the on call rooms, dumbass” Sehun says smugly, rolling his eyes at his best friend.

 

“We haven’t—“

 

“You haven’t? Then what?” Sehun asks in amusement

 

He has passed by the on call rooms a million times already and even though it was quiet moans, he could still hear the distinct voice of his cousin and the grunts of Jongin.

 

“I jerk him off or sometimes I blow him. I pleasure him, I want to know his—“

 

“Okay stop. I don’t want to know about the pleasure points in my cousin’s body but damn Jongin, are you always left with blue balls?” Sehun cuts him off with another question

 

“I jerk off after or when he falls asleep, when he’s out of the room” Jongin answers as he finishes packing his undergarments in a bag before tossing it to Sehun who packs it inside the larger suitcase.

 

“You’re crazy” Sehun mutters.

 

Jongin sighs and he packs two emergency outfits on his carry-on. “He’s disgusted with sex Sehun. I don’t want to whip it out and disgust him with my dick” Jongin points out

 

Sehun stops packing and he glares at Jongin for a second. He never wants Jongin to talk down himself. His best friend had already done that for years and he doesn’t want it to happen again. “Okay. Pep-talk time. One, your dick is not disgusting, it looks like a glorious golden staff that magically makes everything hard and arousing. Two, let’s not talk about your dick again. Pep-talk time over” Sehun says lightly even though his words were as serious as it can get

 

Jongin bursts out in chuckles and Sehun follows shortly. All Sehun wants is for Jongin to laugh like this all the time. He deserves all the love and happiness in the world. He should be spoiled because he’s an angel. “I should buy more lenses, in case I lose them. I don’t want to be blind” Jongin mutters, packing two new boxes of lenses and the box of solution.

 

“Take your glasses, the thick rimmed one and the thin one, the gold frame. Forget about your contact lenses” Sehun points out.

 

“Where are we going anyway?” Jongin asks as he puts two cases of glasses in his personal bag.

 

“No idea. Ask Kyungsoo hyung. I think he’s already downstairs talking to your other hyung” Sehun mutters

 

“You said he was still packing!” Jongin half yells in panic, he begins throwing unopened bottles of his skin care essentials inside his carry-on luggage while Sehun tossed him a small traveling bag for them.

 

“That was about an hour ago before I got here. That man doesn’t take long to pack Jongin. Check your essentials, phone, wallet, passport, money” Sehun points out as he zips up the full suitcase.

 

Just as Jongin was zipping his carry –on luggage his intercom rang. Sehun immediately stands up and glares at Jongin to keep the older from standing up. “Get dressed now. I’ll open it” he says before picking up the larger suitcase and started rushing out of the room.

 

Jongin is clueless on why Sehun is rushing but he can’t think about that when Kyungsoo’s already waiting downstairs. It’s the first time that Kyungsoo will see his place and he wants to be there when he shows him his penthouse. It might be too huge but Jongin’s personality shows everywhere around the penthouse.

 

“Jongin! Kyungsoo hyung is here, bring your things down” Sehun calls out

 

Jongin checks himself on the mirror before he grabs another pair of glasses to wear. He’s blind without contact lenses or glasses so he needs them a lot. He’s wearing a pullover sweater with a large bear on the front and he unknowingly slipped on jeans that has bear logos on the pockets as well. He takes the first scarf he sees and an aviator type padded jacket to keep him warm before he heads down.

 

“Socks!” Sehun calls out as soon as he sees Jongin coming down from the stairs.

 

“I keep them in my shoe closet by the foyer” Jongin points out

 

“I already packed you a pair of shoes and slippers. Wear some socks, it might be cold” Sehun points out

 

“Where’s Kyungsoo hyung?” he asks with a pout when he doesn’t see the smaller anywhere

 

“Here, princess” Kyungsoo appears from the foyer, looking like the prince that he is.

 

He was dressed warmly, wearing a simple gray shirt tucked in jeans and a brown jacket. A padded jacket was draping on his arm while his gray scarf was undone and hanging on his neck. Jongin squealed when he saw Kyungsoo wearing a pair of black rimmed glasses. He looks so cute and young!

 

“Well I wasn’t expecting that squeal” Sehun mutters, pulling the carry-on luggage from Jongin before heading out.

 

“I want to show you around” Jongin mutters but instead of walking around the house, he walks into Kyungsoo’s arms to receive a hug. “You’re warm and a bear” Kyungsoo says in amusement

 

“They call me a bear for a reason” Jongin mutters lightly, enjoying the warmth radiating from Kyungsoo.

 

“Yes because you can sleep anywhere, hibernate and you’re cute” Kyungsoo mutters before placing a soft kiss on the younger’s fluffy brown hair.

 

“We should go, tour me around when we get back” Kyungsoo says, pulling away from the hug to look at Jongin again

 

The younger looked too happy to care about anything, he grabs his personal bag and follows Kyungsoo to the foyer. He linked their hands together and the older allowed it even though he was putting on his shoes.

 

 

“Where are we going?” Jongin asks once they entered the elevator.

 

Kyungsoo pressed the basement instead of the lobby which made Jongin wonder if Kyungsoo brought a car.

 

“Well I booked us a flight to Japan but your brother booked us a flight to Hawaii so let’s go to Hawaii first then we can fly to Japan from there?” Kyungsoo suggests with a small smile that made Jongin melt.

 

“Uhm, your patients?” Jongin asks quietly

 

“I already left them with my senior. My dogs are with your brother, hopefully he doesn’t kill them” Kyungsoo says lightly

 

Jongin’s eyes widened, he pulled on Kyungsoo’s hand because he couldn’t believe that Kyungsoo’s dogs are here. He really loves dogs especially Kyungsoo’s dogs. “Really?! You left them with Jongdae hyung?!” he asks to confirm.

 

Kyungsoo chuckles and nods at him. “Yes. He offered since we’ll be gone for almost two weeks” he answers

 

Sehun was waiting with Jongdae by the black SUV that is not familiar to Jongin. “Is that your car?” Jongin asks Kyungsoo

 

The older shook his head before he opens the door for Jongin. “Sehun’s. He’s driving us to the airport with your brother” he answers before closing the door.

 

Instead of making Jongin scoot for space, Kyungsoo went to the other side and got in from there. He’s such a gentleman and of course Jongin is such a softie that he blushes because of it. Sehun and Jongdae both got in the car soon after and everyone was suddenly quiet.

 

“Enjoy your vacation, Jonginnie” Jongdae says, glancing at them before wearing his seatbelt.

 

“Hyung, I’m sorry for leaving?” Jongin says in confusion.

 

He just woke up and he’s not even sure if what’s happening is real. All that he knows is that Kyungsoo’s hand is resting on his thigh and his thumb was rubbing circles along Jongin’s thigh.

 

“Don’t be silly. You haven’t asked for a vacation leave beside it’s Christmas, you can spend it with Kyungsoo then you can both work on Christmas day and die out of boredom” Jongdae answers back, he was clearly teasing the younger but Jongin doesn’t care.

 

“Bring us souvenirs, okay? Enjoy” Sehun mutters before speeding out of the parking lot.

 

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t stop staring at Jongin, they’re close to the final hour of the 8 hour flight to Hawaii and Jongin fell asleep in the middle of watching the second movie that they played on the shared screen of their too expensive seats. Jongin looks so comfortable, so calm and contented even though the turbulence was every bit as hellish

 

He should’ve known that there’s no way Junmyeon would let his brother get on the economy class because as soon as they got to the airport, Jongin and Kyungsoo were ushered by someone and guided them to the VIP lounge, helping them out with their suitcases and then they were directed to the first class area when they were supposed to depart.

 

Jongin didn’t look like he cared whether he sat on the first class or economy, he basically glued himself beside Kyungsoo and cuddled on the older’s side as soon as the seat belt sign was off. Jongin looks so adorable with all the bears from his scarf, to his sweater and even down to his socks. He also looks like a bear except for the thin black rimmed glasses that he was wearing earlier.

 

Truthfully he hadn’t exactly asked why they were sent to leave even before their actual vacation leave. He was preparing breakfast when he received a call from his senior, Junmyeon. The other talked so calmly asking Kyungsoo if he can take time off and spend more time with Jongin, he also briefly mentioned about an emergency and he had asked Kyungsoo to keep Jongin away from media if they somehow found him.

 

Kyungsoo knows that the Kims are famous but Jongin was the hidden son, he doesn’t go in front of the media unlike Junmyeon and Jongdae. Minseok and Jongin would always stay back and work quietly, away from people’s criticizing eyes.

 

Sehun called after Junmyeon, asking Kyungsoo for a favor, it was actually the same favor as Junmyeon’s. He suggested that Kyungsoo and Jongin should go to Jeju and spend time there or maybe book an earlier flight to Japan. When Kyungsoo had answered Sehun that Junmyeon already called him and started to fix their flight plans, he could swear that the younger breathed a sigh in relief.

 

He was about to ask Jongin about the whole thing but the younger seemed as clueless as him. He didn’t want to make an issue about it and he certainly doesn’t want to sour Jongin’s mood as it is their first trip together.

 

Kyungsoo pulls out his camera and takes a picture of the sleeping bear beside him, even with the flash, the younger didn’t even flinch. He chuckles softly and places a kiss on Jongin’s cheek. He leaned closer as the announcement echoed from the speakers. Jongin’s still probably tired from his shift so he made a quick work to buckle the younger’s seatbelt before doing his own. He closes the trays in front of them before leaning back on his seat. “Hyung” Jongin mumbles

 

Kyungsoo looks to his side only to find Jongin still asleep and pouting. His hand was moving and only stopped when he reached Kyungsoo’s own hand. Cute. He’s so damn cute that Kyungsoo can’t stop wondering why the younger was still single before they made a deal.

 

\--

 

The flight took a toll on the both of them and even though Jongin was asleep for the most of it, he’s still drained when they got to the hotel. It’s still early in the day so the two men decided to sleep it out then grab some lunch outside.

 

They didn’t even get to admire the presidential suite that Junmyeon got for them. All they wanted was to sink in the double king sized bed and take some well-deserved sleep.

 

Jongin surprisingly got up first before Kyungsoo because when the older woke up, there was no one beside him already. Kyungsoo stretched out for a while, working on the kinks and sore spots on his body before he sat up. He looked around the room and found the balcony door open, the thin white curtain was being blown away by the wind but what made him coo was the sight of Jongin, dressed in a white cotton button up shirt and a pair of black chino shorts.

 

The tall man was leaning on the railing, both arms spread out to balance himself and just bask under the sun. He looks ethereal like this, so peaceful and so soft. The wind was blowing away his brown locks and for a second Kyungsoo thinks that he loves that Jongin’s hair is longer.

 

Kyungsoo whips his head to the bedside table where he placed his camera and he immediately pointed it to Jongin once he got it. He was surprised when Jongin was already looking directly at him but he still captured a photo of the younger. A warm smile formed on Jongin’s lips and he leaned back once again, ignoring Kyungsoo’s camera for a minute while the older kept on taking pictures.

 

“Let’s have lunch, hyung” Jongin suggested as he walks into the room.

 

He closed the balcony door and he plops down on the bed to place a chaste kiss on Kyungsoo’s lips. “Good morning” he greets

 

Kyungsoo cocks an eyebrow at Jongin before moving away a little. “You took a shower” he points out, he could smell the citrus and coconut smell from the younger that wasn’t there when they left Korea.

 

“I did. I’m excited to go around and maybe swim?” Jongin trails off, pulling up the hem of his shorts, revealing swimming shorts to Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo has never seen the younger naked, he hasn’t even seen Jongin half-dressed yet while the younger has already seen Kyungsoo’s lower half far too many times to count in one hand.  “I took a shower earlier so I’ll take a shower when we get back. I’ll just grab a small bag for our things”

 

“Sunscreen and tanning lotion!” Jongin muttered as he takes his phone and wallet from his personal bag.

 

“For you?” Kyungsoo asks, packing up an extra memory card and battery in his small bag before grabbing a pair of sunglasses.

 

“For you too! I bet you look great tanned!” Jongin beamed at him and Kyungsoo knows by then that rejecting the younger was not an option anymore

 

 

Jongin was in awe as Kyungsoo spoke English fluently, he ordered for the both of them while Jongin was just pointing at the dishes that he wanted to get. He knows how to speak in English but he’s not as confident as Kyungsoo. The man could probably sing fluently in English as well judging from the long conversation he had with the waitress.

 

“I want to pay for it” Jongin muttered after he finished the last bite of his dessert.

 

Kyungsoo really knew his way around food. He indulged Jongin with ideas on how to remake the food that they just ate. It was also sweet that they shared their food as they got different dishes to keep a wide variety of dishes.

 

“I already paid for it” Kyungsoo smirks at him, tucking his card back on his wallet before pulling out a few dollar bills to give as a tip. Jongin pouts at the older and he receives a kiss from his boyfriend. “Pay for our drinks later, we should drink later” Kyungsoo suggests to ease the younger’s pouting.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but gape at the younger when Jongin finally took off his shirt, revealing the 8-pack he was hiding and the dips of his v-line. How can someone as cuddly as Jongin feel so soft and look this hard at the same time? Even the back muscles of Jongin were admirable. Kyungsoo could probably map out the anatomy of Jongin’s upper body, perfectly, starting with his pectoral muscles.

 

“Hyung, hyung help me with my sunscreen please!” Jongin says, sitting on the lounge chair that they rented.

 

Kyungsoo shook his head but he grabbed the sun screen that they bought and he started lathering Jongin’s back with it. Jongin did his legs and front, not missing a spot, not missing a chance to make Kyungsoo be envious of Jongin's hand. 

 

When Kyungsoo was done with Jongin’s whole back and after all the staring, the younger shimmied out of his Chino shorts and Kyungsoo wanted to thank every God that Jongin was wearing a pair of board shorts and not tight swimming trunks. “Let me put sunscreen on you” Jongin offered.

 

How can Kyungsoo say no to Jongin? In fact, how can anyone say no to Jongin when he’s always flashing those glistening hopeful eyes with a matching pout.

 

Kyungsoo sheds of his shirt and hands Jongin the sunscreen. The younger was staring at him, gaping even then he started to blush. “Hyung, you’re so fit?” the younger comments with uncertainty

 

Kyungsoo’s muscles aren’t a match with Jongin’s 8-pack abs but he has abs formed, he works out to make his shoulders broader and it just happens that his stomach got formed as well. He’s hard on the right places but still soft.

 

“Stop staring” Kyungsoo says, lightly slapping Jongin’s hand.

 

“I—You look really hot” Jongin mutters before sitting behind Kyungsoo to start working on lathering the sunscreen evenly.

 

They both let the sunscreen get absorbed by their skin before Kyungsoo finally allowed Jongin to go play. The man is perfectly right for this scene, the waves crashing gently to the shore, the sun up high but the weather perfect enough for an outing.

 

Jongin immediately runs to the water, drenching his torso before submerging his whole being. Kyungsoo wanted to chuckle at the young man, he grabs his camera and sunglasses, leaving their things to the attendant positioned on their spot.

 

He followed Jongin to the shore only to see the younger playing around by himself. He really looks happy and Kyungsoo wants to immortalize this exact time, where the water is glistening around Jongin, the tanned skinned man, beaming happily as he flails his limbs around.

 

Anyone would think that Jongin is only in his early 20’s when the younger started building sand castle walls, too excited to care about the women and men ogling at his body. His attention was solely focused on the castle that he was building while Kyungsoo sits closer to take pictures of the adorable pouting man.

 

Whenever Jongin is concentrating on something, he unconsciously pouts and furrows his brows but after he’s done, he beams so bright that it can rival the sun. “Hyung! Hyung!” Jongin calls out with a proud smile, showing his castle.

 

“The waves!” Kyungsoo points out as the waves were inching towards Jongin’s sand wall, threatening to destroy the younger’s hard work. Jongin blocked the water with his body before inching back to build a stronger wall.

 

Jongin whines when the water caught up with his walls but he starts laughing out loud, making Kyungsoo laugh as well. Maybe it was right that he agreed on this trip, seeing Jongin like this is worth the Christmas day rush at the hospital.

 

 

 

How can an obnoxious looking black floral patterned button up shirt look absolutely breathtaking on Jongin? Kyungsoo would never know. After playing in the water and sand, they took another break and walked around before heading back to the hotel to prepare for dinner and their night out.

 

It’s safe to say that Jongin fits here in Hawaii, he’s so beautiful and happy that Kyungsoo had every urge to tease Sehun on how much the younger was having fun. They were already heading to another restaurant that Jongin searched for, he had asked Kyungsoo about trying one of the local restaurants and of course Kyungsoo agreed.

 

“Uhm, hyung” Jongin calls out Kyungsoo finished ordering for them.

 

Kyungsoo looks up and saw Jongin fiddling his fingers. He narrowed his eyes at the younger before asking. “What is it, Jongin?”

 

“Uhm, can I post pictures of us? It’s okay if you don’t want to. I know you’re a private per—“ Kyungsoo stopped Jongin’s babbling before the younger could even vomit words.

 

“Sure, Jongin but can we both do it after the trip? I don’t want you focusing on your phone while we’re here. We’re here to enjoy” Kyungsoo points out

 

He expected to hear Jongin disapprove but his boyfriend only smiled at him and nodded. “Okay! I’ll post when we get to Japan!” he agrees easily.

 

Jongin is a sucker for strawberries, Kyungsoo has figured that out now that the younger is on his second fresh strawberry shake. He makes a note on his phone to get some strawberries for Jongin once they get to Japan and Korea.

 

“Hyung, why did we leave early?” Jongin asks softly

 

His voice has always been soft, Kyungsoo notes. Even though Jongin sounds so serious at the hospital and especially when he’s mad but Jongin has always used a softer tone when speaking to him.

 

“I don’t know. There was a VIP patient and they called me in but your brother said that I should just leave early for vacation instead since there are a lot of surgeons there anyway” Kyungsoo answers, it was what Junmyeon told him so it’s only right to tell the same thing to Jongin

 

“and you took me with you?” Jongin asks shyly that Kyungsoo could hear the doubt and surprise on the younger’s voice.

 

Was he really that closed off from Jongin that the younger felt unsure about Kyungsoo wanting him to be with him?

 

“Of course, Jongin. I already promised you a trip to Japan, of course I’ll take you with me” Kyungsoo assures him.

 

Jongin nods and picks on the mozzarella sticks that they got for appetizers. “Hyung, I’ve thought about this for a long time last night” Jongin mutterss

 

Kyungsoo waits until Jongin looks up at him and continue. “It’s okay if you don’t like me but can I keep on liking you? I know we’re only doing this because of your problem but I genuinely like you. Maybe after we figure out your problem, maybe you can allow me to court you properly?” Jongin asks shyly, his cheeks were flushed and it’s not from the sun earlier.

 

“You’re silly and cute. You’re already my boyfriend, why would you court me?” Kyungsoo asks

 

Jongin smiles back at him and pouts “Because you deserve to be pampered and spoiled” he answers as if it’s the most obvious thing.

 

“You’re my princess, not the other way around” Kyungsoo points out and he couldn’t help but smile when the younger blushed again and whined.

 

“But you’re my king and kings should be spoiled too” Jongin points out with a small smile.

 

Kyungsoo can never win against Jongin, not when he’s such a cute and adorable boy who only wants to spread happiness.

 

 

Jongin dragged Kyungsoo off to a beach club where there are fire dancers performing and people were dancing. He heard that there were going to be fireworks and he wanted to see the fireworks with Kyungsoo. He knows that it’s already an eventful day but this will surely cap it off perfectly.

 

Kyungsoo was taking pictures of Jongin who was taking pictures of the view and the fire dancers when his phone rang.  He answered immediately once he saw that it was Junmyeon who was calling him. It was probably late in the afternoon in Korea right now.

 

“Dr. Kim” he greets

 

“Kyungsoo~ssi please be comfortable. You’re my brother’s boyfriend and you’re not at work right now” Junmyeon points out.

 

“Junmyeon~ssi” Kyungsoo changes, he can’t call Junmyeon as hyung because it feels bad addressing the older that way.

 

“That’s better. I just wanted to ask about your trip, is everything to your liking? Don’t hesitate to call the front desk if ever you need anything more. The chauffeur can also drive you two around if you want. I just want you two to enjoy your vacation” Junmyeon says lightly

 

“Thank you for doing this. Jongin is having fun, I can assure you that. We’re at the beach bar right now probably going to drown ourselves with alcohol before we call it a day” Kyungsoo informs Junmyeon.

 

He’s sure that the older is probably worried for Jongin since they are too far from each other but he knows that he can take care of Jongin and he needs to assure Junmyeon as well so he'll send pictures a bit later. 

 

“Ah, be careful. Jongin can’t hold his liquor well” Junmyeon chuckles softly

 

“I’ll take care of him, Junmyeon~ssi. Please don’t worry about it” Kyungsoo assures him

 

Kyungsoo could see Jongin watching the dancers intently as if he wants to learn the ropes of the dance as well. The amusement could easily be seen and reflected on his bright eyes.

 

“Ah. How’s the VIP patient?” Kyungsoo asks after a while.

 

“Fine but it’ll take long for him to get discharged, he’s having surgery” Junmyeon answered shortly.

 

It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to talk about it but Kyungsoo feels as if he should ask more just to sound a bit concerned with the hospital.

 

“What kind?” Kyungsoo asks

 

“For his throat, he’s a singer” Junmyeon answers quietly

 

“Ah. Let me know if you need help, we can go back anytime” Kyungsoo offers even though he prays that no one would need them because Jongin is too happy and he doesn’t want to take that happiness from Jongin.

 

“No no, please enjoy until Japan. We got the hospital handled, we brought in a new Trauma doctor, he’s your colleague” Junmyeon says with amusement in his voice.

 

“Please tell me that’s not Baekhyun” Kyungsoo grunts in frustration, he can already feel the looming headache once he sees Baekhyun when they get back

 

“It is Mr. Byun, I heard that you two are great friends” Junmyeon says in amusement. 

 

“Okay I’m going to let you go now and forget that you said that. I’ll say hi to Jongin for you” Kyungsoo says lightly, hearing Junmyeon chuckle softly before hanging up.

 

 

Kyungsoo placed his arm around Jongin’s waist and the younger flinched in surprise. He was too engrossed on watching that he didn’t notice Kyungsoo taking a call or buying them drinks. Kyungsoo led him to the table and they both sat on the sand. The dance area was already open for everyone and there are guests dancing to some upbeat music.

 

“Jongin, do you want to dance?” Kyungsoo asks in curiosity

 

He briefly remembers Sehun being fond of dancing that all he said during family gatherings was his passion for dancing and not medicine.

 

Kyungsoo could see the flicker on Jongin’s eyes but it died down pretty fast as the younger looked away. “No. Uhm. Do you want to dance?” Jongin asks quietly

 

“Baby, you can go dance. I want to watch you” Kyungsoo says, encouraging the younger to go up and dance.

 

“No…I don’t…I don’t dance” Jongin mutters and he completely shies away from Kyungsoo’s gaze

 

Kyungsoo sighed before cupping Jongin’s chin to turn the younger’s face towards him. “If you’re friends with Sehun then you can dance. There’s no way Sehun would’ve survived university without taking up another major and as far as I know he took up Dance. So. Let’s try this again” Kyungsoo says firmly, waving off Jongin stubbornly.

 

“Do you want to dance, princess? Dance for me, please? No one will know, just us” Kyungsoo asks sweetly, even batting his eyelashes shamelessly as he points at himself and his camera.

 

Jongin bursts out in laughter and smiles widely at Kyungsoo. “Just one” he says as he stands up, brushing the sand from his shorts. Kyungsoo stood up as well to take a video of Jongin and maybe capture some still takes to send to Sehun.

 

Jongin tossed back the cocktail that was on his glass before heading towards the dance area. Jongin was just swaying, really swaying slowly as if he’s matching his movements to the beat. The song suddenly changed into a slower one, those ones that usually needs a partner to slow dance with but Kyungsoo was wrong, he was also damn wrong when he said that Jongin was perfect for the sea because he’s not, he’s perfect for everything.

 

Just as the dance area cleared for the couples, there were lots of spaces for Kim Jongin, the man’s movement was fluid, just like water. He dances with grace and elegance, every move calculated and executed well.  Kyungsoo has already seen Sehun dance, the younger was precise and sharp to a point that it amuses Kyungsoo on how his cousin can dance when he can barely spin without falling. Jongin, however, is different.

 

He’s beautiful, like an artwork that’s being painted and each stroke defines the breathtaking view. If he had met Jongin right at this moment, he would’ve never guessed that the man was a doctor. He would’ve easily said that the man was a dancer, a man perfect for the stage, a man perfect for his own stage.

 

When the song died down, applause erupted from the guests. Jongin’s eyes opened and locked into Kyungsoo’s, he looked around and saw that the applause was directed at him. He shyly bowed to thank everyone then he ran towards Kyungsoo who forgot that he was holding his camera.

 

Jongin hugged him, the younger was breathless and perspiring but Kyungsoo doesn’t care. Jongin just showed him the greatest show that he had ever seen in his whole life and right now he can’t even start to think why Jongin is not a dancer.

 

He showed a different side of him, not the shy Jongin but Kai, the one who open opportunities and great possibilities.

 

“You’re perfect” Kyungsoo says as he hugs back the younger, his voice full of sincerity.

 

 

\--

 

It’s another perfect timing as their bodies fall flush against each other. Kyungsoo couldn’t stop himself when he hurriedly placed a couple of dollars on the table to pay for their drinks before pulling Jongin to their hotel.  He didn’t hear the firework show that was starting when they entered the elevator and he couldn’t stop himself again when he pinned the younger to the elevator wall, kissing him senseless, urging him to kiss back.

 

As soon as they got in the room, Kyungsoo pushed Jongin towards the bedroom, he quickly stripped out of his clothes and helped Jongin with his. “Soo” Jongin mutters when he fell back on the bed.

 

Kyungsoo knows that it’s the first time Jongin ever called him his own nickname and it’s something that he can’t deny to like. Hearing Jongin call him like that was just plain arousing.

 

Jongin looks beautifully splayed out on the bed, his brown hair fanning around like a halo. “You should top” Kyungsoo suggests, because he doesn’t want to disappoint Jongin once he’s in and then suddenly goes flaccid.

 

Kyungsoo climbed on top of Jongin, his lips gliding across Jongin’s torso, inching upwards to his pecs and then to his neck. The younger was gripping his waist tightly and before he knew it, Jongin had already flipped them over.

 

“How can you be so hot and sweet?” Kyungsoo asks quietly.

 

His hands cupped Jongin’s face as he pulled the younger for a kiss that was so deep that he wanted to drown in it. He was so hard, he can feel that he’s ready for Jongin to take him and he wants to.

 

“I want to try something first” Jongin mumbles

 

“Promise me you’ll take me” Kyungsoo asks, his eyes widened and stubborn as he looks directly at Jongin’s brown eyes.

 

Jongin nodded and kissed him again. “I promise” he answers against his lips before he pulled away to reach for the bedside table.

 

Kyungsoo never knew that there was anything inside the bedside table drawer until Jongin tosses a bottle near Kyungsoo’s side. Jongin slowly mapped Kyungsoo’s body using his lips and his hands and all that Kyungsoo could do was squirm at every touch. It was like he was being burned but he liked the feeling of Jongin’s warm hands.

 

A gasp escaped Kyungsoo’s lips when his knees were pushed back gently, Jongin’s head was right between his thighs and—Oh fuck.

 

Something wet grazed his opening and he’s positive that it’s Jongin tongue by the sound of the uncapping of the bottle, strawberry scent filling his nose and something suddenly prodded at his entrance, not pushing in but gently waiting as Jongin worked him open with his tongue.

 

Fuck. Fuck. He’s going to go limp. “Jongin” Kyungsoo calls out as a warning but Jongin already slipped in his middle finger at the same time Kyungsoo tried to relax.

 

Kyungsoo’s senses were overloading when Jongin’s mouth started sucking on the tip of his now flaccid cock. Jongin looks so aroused that it beats Kyungsoo as to why the younger still feels that he has no right to come. Jongin slowly thrusts inside Kyungsoo’s hole before adding another finger inside.

 

It’s almost surprising when Jongin went knuckle deep and immediately hits Kyunsoo’s prostate. His back arched from the bed while his hand flew to Jongin’s nape, urging the younger to take him more. Jongin relinquished and he relaxes his throat. He tapped Kyungsoo’s thigh with his free hand to signal the older to fuck his mouth.

 

Kyungsoo felt his dick twitch with how Jongin was easily relinquishing his control over to Kyungsoo. The older pushed his hips up as Jongin continued to assault his prostate. His arousal was spilling and when he got hard, Jongin pulled his mouth away from Kyungsoo’s dick.

 

The smirk on his face was damn cocky but Kyungsoo couldn’t tell him off because the younger added another finger inside Kyungsoo. “See how you’re taking my fingers well, you’re made to take my fingers. You’re made to take my cock, hyung. You look so pretty” Jongin cooed, his voice was so sweet even though his words were too dirty.

 

Kyungsoo whimpered when Jongin pulled out his fingers, the younger lathered his length with the lube before leaning down to kiss Kyungsoo. “You’ll take me right? You’ll be a good boy and take me, right hyung?” Jongin asks as he aligns his tip to Kyungsoo’s entrance.

 

“Yes. Yes. Jongin” Kyungsoo breathes out.

 

“Let me take care of you, hyung. Just relax, I got you” Jongin says as he slowly pushed in.

 

"You're so beautiful, it's okay. Let me do it. I'm here, baby. I'm going to help you" Jongin says in a low calming voice.

 

Kyungsoo feels like as if he was floating, he hears every sweet word that Jongin was whispering to him but all he feels is the want, the need to be pleased and taken care of. He was so sensitive, he was so light that he feels like he was out of his body. All he hears were Jongin's soft whispers and he could feel everything that Jongin was doing to him. 

 

 

Jongin watches as Kyungsoo slips into another dimension. Truly and utterly disheveled and wanting. He could hear the older calling out soft 'mores' as Jongin starts to thrust inside him. He could see how the older reveled with dirty talk and how it turns him more when Jongin marks him up with kisses.

 

“Ah! Jongin!” Kyungsoo shouts.

 

Jongin knows that he’s already thrusting directly at Kyungsoo’s prostate but he won’t touch the older. He wants to see if Kyungsoo can come untouched and just by his dick. His movements were sloppy as he was too engrossed with pleasing Kyungsoo and losing himself to his boyfriend’s touch.

 

Kyungsoo clawed on Jongin’s back and his hole clenched tight around Jongin’s length that the younger’s breathing stuttered. He bit on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and the both came simultaneously, Kyungsoo’s orgasm came with a shout of Jongin’s name while the younger grunts as he paints Kyungsoo’s walls with his cum.

 

 

 

“Hyung, come back to me. You did so well, baby” Jongin says softly, easing Kyungsoo back to reality. 

 

He has seen and studied about things like these but he never actually thought that it would work on Kyungsoo, not when Jongin was still testing waters and he didn’t know what he was doing. It could’ve been dangerous. He peppers Kyungsoo's face with kisses as he slowly coaxed the older to come back to him. The aftercare is always the most delicate part just like the beginning so he needs to be careful. 

 

Kyungsoo mewls, making Jongin chuckle. The younger cleaned them both up before fixing Kyungsoo back on the bed. “Soo, baby. Can you hear me?” Jongin calls out again softer, placing soft kisses on Kyungsoo’s lips. "Baby, you were so good. You're perfect" Jongin says sincerely.

 

“Yes. That was so good. I loved it” Kyungsoo answers and he smiles sleepily at Jongin.

 

His lips formed a heart so Jongin kissed it again. “I’m glad” he says

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes blinked open and his hand reached for Jongin’s side. “Did you just..subspace, right? I read about it. I thought it only works on dom and sub relationships? You didn't hurt me too? Pain and pleasure?” Kyungsoo asks quietly, he has read a lot of things about this and as far as he knows he wasn't in intense pain that time he felt his consciousness slipping away from him

 

Jongin hummed and placed a kiss on Kyungsoo’s nose. “Uhm, I read that if you fully trust a person, it can work? I did try to abuse your prostate, is that considered as pain?” Jongin says softly, chuckling a little at what he said. 

 

“You’re unsure?” Kyungsoo asks in shock, his eyes widening at Jongin.

 

“Uhm. It worked?” Jongin answers with a shy smile

 

Kyungsoo slaps Jongin’s side lightly before raining slaps on his biceps. “Kim Jongin!” Kyungsoo called out, his voice was a bit hoarse but that’s not going to stop him from hitting Jongin.

 

“Hyung, stop hitting me” Jongin pouts, capturing Kyungsoo’s hands and bringing them to his lips

 

He placed a kiss on every tip of Kyungsoo’s fingers before kissing his knuckles as well. “Can you put it in again?” Kyungsoo blurts out.

 

“I’m not hard?” Jongin says in confusion.

 

He could get it up but he’s pretty sure that Kyungsoo doesn’t want another round right now. Not when they’re both exhausted from the flight and the things they did all day.

 

“It’s okay. I just like the feeling of being filled” the older answered

 

They both blushed because of that and Kyungsoo immediately turned away from Jongin who pulled him closer. Jongin gently placed his hand on Kyungsoo’s thigh before he moved it up a little. He lathered himself up thinly before slowly pushing into Kyungsoo's tight heat.

 

A soft gasp of relief came from the both of them once Jongin bottomed out. He placed another pillow on Kyungsoo’s front so that the older could hug it comfortably. “Thank you, Jongin”

 

“No problem, hyung. It’s my pleasure” Jongin says softly before placing a kiss on Kyungsoo’s back.

 

 

\--


	5. Of News and Current Affairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can already see the end, can you all see it too?  
> Let me dig a little deeper.  
> Enjoy~~
> 
> WARNING: Mentions of Cheating. (it's so small, but I'll still warn you all)

 

 

Jongin basks in Kyungsoo’s happiness as they spent each day going around Hawaii, trying out the most extreme stuffs, from parasailing to sky diving then at night they spend time learning each other’s pleasure points. Jongin had managed to make Kyungsoo come without putting him under. It was so much better having sex when Kyungsoo’s aware and not floating in subspace. He’s bossy and cute, whimpering to go fast and harder but then shies away when Jongin blurts out the dirtiest words.

 

They’re waiting for their flight to Japan when Jongin saw the news. He hasn’t touched his social media accounts for the past 9 days. He allowed Kyungsoo to lead him around Hawaii and he loved every single day.

 

Jongin immediately froze up when he read the article again for the third time. **_IDOL PARK CHANYEOL TAKES TIME OFF THE SPOTLIGHT BECAUSE OF HEALTH REASONS_**. The article briefly explained what happened only that Chanyeol cut off his tour to spend time recovering, he also apologized to his fans that bought tickets in advance and promised them that he’s going to return.

 

“Hyung, can we head back to Korea?” Jongin asks quietly.

 

Kyungsoo turns to him at once. He was looking at their pictures because they’re still waiting to board their plane to Japan. “You don’t want to go to Japan?” Kyungsoo asks in confusion

 

“I just need to go back” Jongin muttered, already typing a message to his brothers that he’s coming back.

 

“Okay, I’m just going to change our flight plans” Kyungsoo says, eyeing Jongin worriedly.

 

He doesn’t know what happened but he can see how Jongin’s mood suddenly turned sour. He didn’t spend 9 days in a foreign country, making Jongin happy just to see a pout appearing on the younger’s face before they even leave.

 

“Hey baby, are you alright?” Kyungsoo asks once they settled in their seats.

 

The airline happily changed their flight plans once they saw both the doctors’ names on their passports. It’s probably because of Kim Junmyeon or someone because Kyungsoo’s positive that his name doesn’t hold that much power.

 

“I’m okay” Jongin answers as he buckled his seat belt.

 

The younger’s gaze immediately turned to the window, they left a little later than planned and the sun had already set. “Hyung, I’m scared” Jongin mutters

 

Kyungsoo immediately turned to the younger who was still looking out of the window, watching the night sky. The older reached out to grab Jongin’s hand to comfort the younger. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked

 

Jongin’s grip on his hand tightened and the younger finally leaned back on his chair. “I don’t want to go back to Seoul but I need to” he says half-heartedly.

 

“Jongin, you don’t need to do anything that you don’t want to do. We can go to Japan from Korea, it’s not that big of a deal, baby” Kyungsoo suggests.

 

He’s really starting to hate whatever reason it is that Jongin’s sulking right now. Jongin was so happy before they left the hotel. It’s baffling that his mood changed as soon as he turned on his phone’s data.

 

“No. You already paid for this…I don’t want to trouble you anymore. I’m going to pay you back once we land” Jongin muttered

 

“You won’t do such thing, Jongin. Just tell if you want to go to Japan and I’ll steal you away” Kyungsoo assures the younger.

 

 

 

The two of them ended up going to Japan with Kyungsoo trying to keep Jongin’s mind preoccupied with a lot of things that doesn’t concern phones and internet. He was happy to see Jongin smile again, the worry was starting to ease away but three days were too short for Jongin to forget his problem.

 

Once they got to the hospital the next day after they landed back to Korea, Jongin immediately excused himself to see his brothers. The younger gave him a soft chaste kiss before hurrying towards the elevator.

 

“That tan looks so good on you, Kyungie”

 

Kyungsoo turns around only to see the pink-haired man staring at him. If Jongin is a bear then Baekhyun is a puppy. For the past long years that Kyungsoo has known Baekhyun, he’s sure that the older is just a puppy.

 

“Baek. Why the hell are you here?” he asks bluntly

 

The older smirks at him and hugs him tightly before pulling away quickly. “You didn’t know? The memo was sent” he points out

 

“I know but _why_ are you here?” Kyungsoo asks again.

 

“Sehun of course, plus Jongdae told me you caught yourself a boyfriend and a Kim at that”

 

“Jongdae?” Kyungsoo asks in surprise.

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at him and smacks his arm lightly. “You really don’t listen to me, do you? He was my batch mate. I’m older but he’s my batch mate. Which Kim are you dating?” he asks

 

“The youngest” Kyungsoo muttered, checking his phone to see if Jongin already arrived up in Sehun’s floor.

 

“OH! Kim Jongin!? Wow. Wow. Look at you now” Baekhyun teases.

 

Kyungsoo slapped the older’s arm hard before walking away. “I hate you” he grunted

 

“I missed you. Please hang out with me more. You make it seem like you don’t like me when I’ve been your roommate and senior for the duration of your med school” Baekhyun pouts and links his arm with Kyungsoo’s.

 

“You always tease me” Kyungsoo points out

 

“Tough love, Kyungie. You know I love you, always. Not as much as I love your cousin but close enough” Baekhyun grins at him.

 

Baekhyun has been hopelessly in love with Sehun ever since they met in one of Kyungsoo’s movie nights. That same night Baekhyun informed Kyungsoo that he’s breaking the bro code, that he will make Sehun his even if he’s Kyungsoo’s cousin. Things didn’t work out well because Sehun was too hard to catch. Baekhyun loves the chase so even now, he’s still pining over Sehun.

 

“Did you hear?” Baekhyun asks.

 

He followed Kyungsoo into the fellows’ lounge. The younger was changing already because he has a surgery a bit after lunch and he needs to make rounds now. Baekhyun should be at the ER not following him around.

 

“Hear what?” Kyungsoo asks, mildly interested

 

It has only been a week or so since Baekhyun came in but he always has his way to get the facts not rumors. “The VIP patient that I got, Park Chanyeol, he was looking for the youngest Kim. The Kims transferred him to the satellite hospital away from here. They said that the VIP hospital would be better for his fast recovery” Baekhyun says quietly

 

“When did they transfer him?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

Maybe that’s the reason why Jongin was worried. It must’ve been hard that his best friend got hospitalized.

 

Baekhyun bit the tip of his finger as he thinks. “Uhm, about four days ago, give or take. It was rushed. I checked his stat, the surgery went well but he’s not going to sing anytime soon. Anyway, I heard that he and little Kim were best friends or something. I didn’t get anything out of Sehun because he basically yelled at me when he saw me eavesdropping on his conversation with Jongdae” he says, pulling out his finger from his mouth

 

“Why were you eavesdropping?” Kyungsoo smirks at him

 

Baekhyun’s widened and he waves his hands in front of Kyungsoo to retract his statement. “It was an accident! Jongdae called me in and Sehun was there! I didn’t know how to break their conversation so I stayed until they finished” Baekhyun reasons out.

 

“Sure. I’ll see you later. I have to make rounds” Kyungsoo says lightly before leaving the older.

 

 

Jongin was fidgeting, waiting for his brother to come in. Jongdae had just finished a surgery while Junmyeon and Minseok were still in surgery. “Hey Jonginnie, how was your tr—“

 

“Where is he?” Jongin cuts him off, a bit rudely but he just lowers his head to apologize for it.

 

“He’s not here” Jongdae answers shortly

 

The older went to his table to place his tablet down before motioning Jongin to take a seat. The younger kept standing because he couldn’t find the strength to move from his spot. Jongdae frowns mainly because he's talking to Jongin and the younger is clearly upset. He hates it when Jongin is upset. 

 

“Impossible. This is the greatest hospital. He would’ve needed our best doctor if someone happened to him. Where is he?” Jongin asks again.

 

He knows that VIP patients are under different names but he checked all the logs and the surgeries and no one would’ve matched Chanyeol. His brothers are probably hiding him.

 

“He’s not here, Jongin” Jongdae answers again.

 

He stands up and goes around his table to stand in front of his brother. He admires the golden skin that Jongin got from his vacation and the flush on his face before the latter spoke up again.

 

“Then where?” he asks impatiently.

 

“Far from here. Can you calm down?” Jongdae asks, placing a hand on Jongin’s arm

 

He felt his brother sigh as he willed himself to calm down. The pout was now evident on his face, making Jongdae feel all too guilty. “You sent me away because he came in?” Jongin assumes.

 

“We didn’t send you away. It’s your well-deserved vacation. Kyungsoo~ssi sent some photos to Junmyeon hyung and you really looked happy, Jonginnie. It’s been a long time since we saw you that happy” Jongdae admits.

 

As much as he didn’t want to send Jongin to that vacation alone with Kyungsoo, he couldn’t deny the relief he felt when he saw the photos that Kyungsoo provided for Junmyeon. Jongin was too happy, basking in the sun, playing in the water and even smiling brightly at Kyungsoo. He’s not blind to see where Jongin’s smile was directed, of course it was directed at his photographer.

 

“What was he here for?” Jongin asks, leaning in to his brother unconsciously.

 

Jongdae was used to this, to see Jongin seeking for some comfort when he feels bad or worried. Jongin’s like one of the kids in Jongdae’s department, they hope for good news and they always need reassurance. “A minor surgery, singer’s nodes, he can recover from it surely” Jongdae says confidently

 

He has seen the charts of the idol before they sent him to be moved at the other hospital. They all knew that the man needed VIP care so they sent him to the private medical facility.

 

“Okay” Jongin muttered, finally relaxing himself.

 

“Okay what? You think we’d kill him?” Jongdae teased, he lightly pinched the younger’s side.

 

“No” Jongin pouts at him

 

Jongdae chuckles softly and pats Jongin’s side to comfort him some more. “Jonginnie, you messaged us a couple of days ago telling us that you were cutting your vacation off. Is he the reason for that? Were you going to leave Kyungsoo to see Chanyeol?” he asks bluntly.

 

Realization hits Jongin and his eyes widened in shock. He pulled away from his brother and shook his head at him. “N-No…”

 

He has to apologize to Kyungsoo, he’s probably worried about Jongin and that’s the last thing he wants Kyungsoo to feel. He should also schedule another trip for them in Japan because he was barely tolerable when they were there. He always spaced out even though Kyungsoo tried his best to get up his mood.

 

“Good. I may not completely like Kyungsoo but he’s good for you. You’re on Junmyeon hyung’s service today. I heard he’s going to have another surgery a few hours after so you should prep the patient” Jongdae says with a small smile

 

“I’m sorry” Jongin mumbles.

 

Jongdae chuckles and pats his younger brother’s shoulder. “You don’t have to apologize, Jonginnie. I understand, we understand. Where are my souvenirs?” he asks lightly to change the topic.

 

Jongin beamed at the question, completely brightening up at the mention of the souvenirs that he had bought for his family and Sehun. “At home. Let’s all have dinner together?” he suggests.

 

“Of course. I’ll check in with our parents too so we can have a family dinner before Christmas since you’re going to be too busy here at the hospital” Jongdae teases before giving his younger brother a tight hug.

 

“You’ll be alright, champ” he says softly

 

 

“Suction” Junmyeon calls out

 

“How was your trip?” Junmyeon asks while he’s effortlessly opening up the patient’s heart.

 

Jongin was right next to him to help him with some trivial things while the other resident was assisting Junmyeon. “It was fine. I enjoyed it so much” Jongin answers lightly

 

He still can’t get the trip out of his mind, especially the times when he and Kyungsoo had too much fun. Jongin knows that Kyungsoo’s problem was not yet over since the older can’t actually penetrate Jongin without going limp but that was completely fine with Jongin.

 

It was his first time topping but he liked that he gave something to Kyungsoo rather than let the older work for it. He's not supposed to be thinking about this in an OR with his brother. He should really stop about thinking about Kyungsoo beautifully splayed out on the bed, marked by Jongin. He can't spring up a boner right now. This an open heart surgery. 

 

“There’s a convention next week right before New Year, do you want to join me?” Junmyeon suddenly asks

 

There were gasps from the room and Jongin knows that the two other residents probably wanted to join his Junmyeon hyung for this convention.

 

“Cardio?” Jongin asks even though he already knows the answer to it.

 

“Yes”

 

“No thank you sir” Jongin says politely.

 

Junmyeon nods at him because he never wants to force Jongin to do something that he doesn’t want to do. “You have to declare your specialty next year, Jongin” he points out

 

“I know” Jongin mutters and switches the light to give Junmyeon more room to see what he’s working on.

 

“Have you decided?” Junmyeon asks quietly.

 

He knows that Jongin doesn’t want to talk about this publicly but because of their clashing schedules, he can hardly talk to his youngest brother.

 

“Not yet” Jongin muttered

 

“I see. Keep your options open, I’m sure it’ll come to you when you want it” Junmyeon says to comfort the younger.

 

A minute of silence passed as Junmyeon worked on taking apart the clot that was stuck on an artery. Jongin was trying to focus and watch his brother's movements before someone cleared a throat. 

 

“Are you not following your boyfriend’s specialty?” the resident in front of Jongin asked with a smirk

 

Jongin could already feel his brother brooding so he answered before his brother could. “Am I required to follow my boyfriend’s specialty? I’m my own person, I can do as I please” Jongin answered sharply, completely shutting up the resident that was assisting Junmyeon.

 

“You can go Dr. Choi, Dr. Lee, please take his place” Junmyeon calls out the other resident who was watching patiently.

 

“Scrub in and take his spot. Jongin, take his spot for now. Hand me the suction” Junmyeon ordered.

 

The thing about his older brother was that when his brother spoke, everyone should listen. Jongin knows enough not to argue with his brother. He hands over the suction before he goes around the table to relieve Dr. Choi of his place. Dr. Lee went to the scrub room to get ready while Junmyeon continued the surgery after handing the suction hose back to Jongin.

 

“You’re really not interested in Neuro?” Junmyeon asks

 

Jongin smirks at him and chuckles lightly. “Scared of losing my god-like hands?” he teased

 

“You’re so full of yourself” Junmyeon says lightly

 

 

\--

 

 

Kyungsoo has found a habit, a great one especially now that he’s waiting on for Jongin to come in. There are only a few doctors right now and it’s Christmas Eve. Most of the doctors are on call while others are on vacation leave. Accidents don’t usually happen during Christmas Eve unlike New Year’s Eve. There’s always a surge of patients during new year’s eve and Kyungsoo can’t even understand the stupidity of those patients who comes in with wounds from having too much fun.

 

The habit that Kyungsoo allowed himself to indulge on was watching Jongin as he enters the hospital. He’s now at the ER because he has nothing better to do and his residents are watching his patients carefully. Byun Baekhyun managed to pull him to the ER to spend time and talk.

 

Baekhyun was animatedly talking about Sehun’s arm and Sehun’s what-so-ever when he suddenly choked, finally getting attention from Kyungsoo who glanced at him in worry. Baekhyun was trying to calm down himself when he pointed out the man that’s coming in from the emergency entrance.

 

Jongin comes in wearing a black coat with a deep burgundy turtle neck, a pair of thin black-rimmed round specs and black slacks, he honestly looks like a model more than a doctor. Kyungsoo found himself tracing the length of Jongin's legs with his eyes, completely ignoring the panic of the people around him. 

 

“30-something female, car-jacking victim, multiple lacs and contusions, open tibia fracture, hypertensive and tachycardic” Jongin announched before taking off his coat and handing it to the nurse who draped it on the counter.

 

“Call for a neuro consult” Jongin ordered as he helped the EMT transfer the patient. Jongin was immediately gowned by the nurses and the interns immediately rushed to his side.

 

“Aren’t you going to help him?” Kyungsoo points out to Baekhyun who was supposed to be the trauma doctor.

 

Kyungsoo shook his head when he saw Baekhyun still gaping at Jongin who was checking the vitals of the patients. He took off his white coat and wore a sterile gown and gloves before heading towards Jongin. “Catch me up” he ordered

 

Jongin just glanced at him before he went on about the patient’s condition. “Page ortho!” Jongin yelled again as he started opening up the patient.

 

“She’s crashing! Where is the head of trauma!” Jongin grunts, his head whipping to the intern beside him. 

 

Baekhyun miraculously appeared fully dressed in sterile gown and gloves then he moves next to Jongin. “Here at your service, Dr. Kim” Baekhyun says lightly before moving Jongin away using his hips.

 

Jongin looked like he wanted to cuss but Kyungsoo just chuckled lightly. “I crossed-clamped the aorta, she’s not going to make it into an OR. WHERE IS ORTHO! Send a text to my brother!” Jongin roared and it was the first time Kyungsoo has ever seen Jongin that stressed out.

 

“We have to do an emergency laparotomy. We need gauze, laps, whatever we have to pack this abdomen. I need steady hands!” Baekhyun calls out and Jongin is immediately there across Baekhyun.

 

“Ortho is on his way coming from dinner. Dr. Kim is on his way as well”

 

Baekhyun sliced the abdomen carefully then suddenly blood sputtered everywhere. “She’s my house caretaker” Jongin suddenly blurts out.

 

Kyungsoo helped Baekhyun with the suction and started to drain the blood, asking for more units of blood to be hanged as they go to the OR. “Scrub in, Kim. This is your patient, see it through” Baekhyun orders.

 

 

 

“This should’ve never happened to her” Kyungsoo mutters once they stabilized the patient.

 

They both scrubbed in and now they’re waiting for Jongin to come in. Jongin comes in with his brother Minseok who was scrubbed in as well. “I should wait” Minseok said quietly when he saw that Baekhyun was still working on the patient

 

“She’ll be fine, Jongin. Get a grip” Minseok says quietly, pushing the younger to move closer to the OR table.

 

Jongin walked towards the table and Kyungsoo immediately gives way for Jongin to assist Baekhyun. “Take it all away, everything from your mind and help me out. I heard you have very _good_ hands”

 

“BYUN!” Kyungsoo growled, making Jongin flinch.

 

Baekhyun chuckled softly. “I’m kidding” he says lightly before handing Jongin the instruments. He watched the resident doctor in awe as Jongin followed his instructions clearly.

 

“After this, she needs to rest and maybe wake up before I can go in” Minseok says quietly, watching from the side of the room.

 

“I’m sorry for rushing you, hyung” Jongin calls out, barely looking up to face his brother. 

 

“It’s alright, Jongin. She’s family” Minseok assures him before the elder exited the OR leaving the three doctors inside to finish the operation.

 

 

Kyungsoo pulls Jongin into a hug after the successful surgery. Baekhyun told Jongin to take it easy before checking in on the patient. “Tell me what happened?” Kyungsoo asks

 

He got used to asking Jongin things he wanted to know because the younger would easily tell him. “I was on my way to work when I saw her lying on the ground just by the curb, she was probably pulled out from the window of her car judging by the wounds on her face and body” the younger explained.

 

“It’s not your fault” Kyungsoo says immediately

 

Jongin melted into his arms and leaned forward for comfort. “She wasn’t even supposed to stay that late but I got up late and asked her to prepare me some dinner so I can bring it here and we can eat it” Jongin muttered

 

Kyungsoo rubbed small circles on Jongin’s back before pulling away from the younger. “Do you want to eat? I’m sure she’s going to be fine, Jongin. You did well” Kyungsoo says softly to reassure the younger

 

“Come, I’ll take care of you” Kyungsoo says, pulling Jongin out of the elevator.

 

 

\--

 

 

The issue came faster than the plague, for some weird reason a photo of Kim Jongin, bringing in a patient using his own car and even drenching his expensive coat with blood made it to the 9 pm news. Everyone looked at Jongin differently once the doctors were back from their Christmas vacations. Before they saw Jongin as the one who has God-like hands but now they see him as a God walking down the streets of Korea.

 

Jongin was still sulking because his housekeeper was still unconscious. He has been pouting and poking Kyungsoo for the past ten minutes as he looks at the scans for the nth time. “We probably missed something” he mutters

 

“We already scanned her repeatedly, Jongin. You saw what I saw. She’ll wake up soon” Kyungsoo assures the younger.

 

Jongin got up and started to pace back and forth until he suddenly he stops dead on his tracks making Kyungsoo glance back at him. “What are you doing here?” Jongin spat out

 

In a good day, Jongin is the sweetest human being ever, he’s also the purest and brightest kid. But for the past three days, Jongin has been the stressed-hot doctor that wears clothes like a model and walks the hallways like it’s his runway. But today, he’s just a ticking time bomb who will snap at an intern that’s not doing his/her job.

 

Kyungsoo moves to the side to see where Jongin’s anger was directed and to his surprise, he sees an idol standing right in front of Jongin.

 

“I need to talk to you” the man croaks out hoarsely.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be quiet? You’re not allowed to talk, right?” Jongin points out flatly, before putting his right hand behind him curling it into a fist.

 

It’s another quiet night at the hospital and Jongin should’ve been sleeping but instead the younger was pacing at the ER. Kyungsoo moved forward and took Jongin’s hand that was curled up into a fist behind his back. He spread out Jongin’s hand before taking it into his hand. “Is there a problem, Mr. Park? Do you need assistance?” Kyungsoo asks politely, he kept their hands locked behind Jongin because he knows that Jongin needed the comfort.

 

Chanyeol’s eyes flickered with something that’s completely unfamiliar to Kyungsoo before the taller looked at Kyungsoo and smiled so widely. “No, I just came in to check on Jongin. It’s Christmas” he says nonchalantly

 

“Yesterday” Jongin mutters and his hand tightened on Kyungsoo’s

 

“What?” Chanyeol asks, his eyes were back to looking at Jongin.

 

“Christmas was yesterday, you can go now” Jongin said flatly

 

“I’ll come back, let’s talk once I feel better” Chanyeol says dismissively, not waiting for Jongin’s answer before he went out through the same emergency entrance that he walked in from.

 

“Let’s go home, we’re done for this shift” Kyungsoo says softly before pulling on Jongin’s hand.

 

Kyungsoo logged them out both, knowing that they’d have to come back the day after tomorrow for another shift but he needs Jongin to rest now. He doesn’t just look stressed, he’s even emitting a stressful aura.

 

 

\--

 

Once they settled into Kyungsoo’s bed, Jongin immediately curled into Kyungsoo’s side, allowing the older to spoon him. Jongin usually calms down after his stressful days once Kyungsoo shares something to him, may it be the most trivial of things or things that even Sehun doesn’t know.

 

The younger is always comforted by the knowledge that someone trusts him and Kyungsoo trusts him a lot, letting himself go during sex is just one of the proofs. He allowed Jongin to guide him on entering subspace just like he allows Jongin to help him out of it. Kyungsoo always asked for more, asking Jongin to spank him or go harder. The younger always relinquishes to Kyungsoo’s wants but after a few tries he told Kyungsoo that what he wants is for the older to be conscious and aware and that was the first time they had sex without Kyungsoo entering subspace. The younger was right, it was so much better feeling everything, being aware of when Jongin drives deeper into him, groaning as Kyungsoo’s wall clenches around him and then breathing out a litany of praises for Kyungsoo once they reach their peak together.

 

Jongin is more than just a friend to Kyungsoo right now. He’s so much more.

 

“The reason why I hated sex was because of my father. I saw him cheating on my mother and I guess the divorce took a toll on me. They were so happy together and I was happy but then dad screwed my tutor and my mom and I caught him red-handed. He didn’t even apologize. He just said that he was tired and he wanted out. I felt cheated and I wanted to ask him why it was so easy for him to leave us” Kyungsoo started to tell the only secret that he has kept.

 

Sehun knew about the divorce but he didn’t know why. His parents had kept a lid on it to keep it from going out to the media. It was such a bad time for Kyungsoo and he began pushing people away with the reason that he couldn’t trust anyone anymore, that everyone was bound to leave at some point.

 

“I’m sorry, Soo” Jongin says softly, pressing his back on Kyungsoo’s front so that the older could feel his warmth.

 

“Then he didn’t show up at court regarding the custody battle that he demanded from my mother. He suddenly gave up his money and his family. I just...It'sjust ahrd for me to trust people let alone have sex with them. Sex is...I don't know it might sound cheesy but it connects you to another person both literally and emotionally. Even those one night stands, they don't just equate to lust” Kyungsoo adds quietly

 

Jongin turned around to hug Kyungsoo back, even though he’s the smaller spoon now, he tangled his long legs over Kyungsoo’s before leaning his head on the older’s chest. “It will get better, Soo. We’ll take away your worries, I won’t cheat on you even if you break up with me after we fix your problem” Jongin assured him

 

Kyungsoo cocks his eyebrows at Jongin in both amusement and surprise. “You’re still thinking about that?” Kyungsoo asks with a blank tone.  He thought he already squashed all of Jongin’s doubt but it seems like it didn’t work at all.

 

 

Jongin leaned his forehead on Kyungsoo’s chest, tucking in his head under the older’s chin. “I know. Sehun told me. He told me that he sent you to me and he explicitly told you not to form any relationship with me aside from a professional one. He said you had promised and then I figured out that the only reason why you asked me to date you was because I wasn’t comfortable with touching my boss. It’s fine, I understand” Jongin assures him.

 

Kyungsoo knew that it wasn’t the right time to berate Jongin about something but this is becoming ridiculous. He thought it was only a slip up before but seeing and hearing it again feels like it has been Jongin’s habit all along.

 

“Why do you do that?” Kyungsoo asks bluntly, pulling away a little to tip up Jongin’s chin.

 

“What?” Jongin asks in confusion.

 

His eyes were glazed with unshed tears and Kyungsoo could only feel all his walls cracking. He doesn’t want to see his sun dimming, he doesn’t want Jongin to lose his light. He doesn’t deserve hurt when all he has given was happiness. This is not right…

 

“That, you think too little of yourself that you’re becoming so selfless. People will abuse your kindness, Jongin. You’re supposed to deny them not give in to them. If you don’t want it, say no. It’s not hard to say no” Kyungsoo points out bluntly

 

He knows that Jongin would understand it more if it’s put bluntly. Besides, Kyungsoo doesn’t have a habit of sugar-coating his words especially when it comes to Jongin who is so pure and honest. He shouldn’t be tainted by this cruel world, he needs to be stronger.

 

“I told you I like you” Jongin says firmly

 

Kyungsoo cups both his cheeks and presses a kiss on his forehead before smiling at him fondly. “And I, you. So please stop doubting me” Kyungsoo says quietly

 

He know he’s not the most open person but he could see and feel that he is opening up to Jongin. This is not just the deal anymore, he’s really considering to be a part of Jongin’s life. Hopefully the younger wants him that way too. It’s only been two months since they started but he knows that he doesn’t regret asking Jongin for a date.

 

“But Dr. Byun” Jongin mumbled

 

Kyungsoo chuckled and pulled Jongin’s hand to kiss his knuckles. “Dr. Byun is shit and he’s my best friend, supposedly. He’s in love with Oh Sehun and he has been for the past few years. Now are you going to tell me who Park Chanyeol is or should I just cross him out as your ex-boyfriend?” he asks, trying to lighten up the mood

 

The silence was enough of an answer for Kyungsoo. Jongin usually answered him but this time he just stayed quiet, it seems like the mention of the latter does something to him and it’s really starting to frustrate Kyungsoo.

 

He doesn’t know Park Chanyeol well but he knows that the producer-idol is famous for having his moments. Hell, he has been quiet but he’s always at the hospital for being intoxicated before an event or sometimes he’s just plain dehydrated.

 

Kyungsoo knew that one of the Kims even sent a private doctor to aid Park Chanyeol so that he doesn’t have to visit the hospital always. Maybe he’s really a part of family and that he and Jongin just fought about something. It’s that way right? Jongin would tell him if it was anything else, right?

 

Jongin’s breathing normalized and slowly forming into a softer pattern that Kyungsoo’s more familiar to Kyungsoo. He reached gently for the box sitting on the bed side table and opened it. There was a necklace inside it, the pendant was as simple as it could get, a bear but the inscription behind it held a deeper meaning, it was the date that Kyungsoo asked Jongin to date him.

 

Now that he thinks about it, he shouldn’t probably give it to Jongin knowing that the younger might just play it off as a part of the deal rather than the true meaning that it holds. Maybe he can wait until Jongin can wrap his mind around the idea that Kyungsoo really wants him for real.

 

 

Jongin felt the searing pain all over his body that he screams out loud. There was a cold hand pressing on his shoulder lightly but it made him flinch, his eyes blinking open to actually figure out where he was. He sees Kyungsoo beside him, hair tossed all over the place and fresh from sleep. “Jonginnie, are you okay?” Kyungsoo calls out softly, his hand almost reaching out for Jongin again but the younger moved away again.

 

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. You’re safe, you just had a nightmare” Kyungsoo assures him, his voice soothing and urging Jongin to focus to him and only him.

 

Jongin felt hot, wet tears dripping on his cheeks that he reached out to pat it. He doesn’t feel himself crying but from the look of shock and worry on Kyungsoo’s eyes, he’s probably crying too much. He hurriedly wiped his tears away before looking at the clock, it was just 30 minutes after 8 and he should be sleeping in since it’s his day off but he can’t stay here, he doesn’t want to worry Kyungsoo anymore.

 

“I-I have to go” he mutters

 

“Jongin” Kyungsoo calls out softly as if he’s calling out a baby.

 

Jongin doesn’t know how Kyungsoo does that, make him feel small and like a baby every time he lowers his voice like that. It feels as if he can protect Jongin from all the evil in this world but Jongin knows that no one can protect him from that.

 

“I have to go to Minseok hyung” Jongin muttered quietly before pulling on his pants that was draped over the back of Kyungsoo’s computer chair.

 

Rather than reaching out again, Kyungsoo sits up on the bed and nods at Jongin. “Call me once you’re with him or I’ll be worried” Kyungsoo says quietly, voice still hoarse from sleep.

 

Kyungsoo had figured out that if there’s one thing that Jongin doesn’t want Kyungsoo to feel, it’s being worried about him. The younger always messaged Kyungsoo his concerns and updates about his meals, or whether he had gotten a decent amount of sleep. At first, Kyungsoo thought that it was just Jongin’s sweetness, telling his boyfriend everything but as they dated, he saw that Jongin does the same when he’s messaging Sehun. Jongin never wants anyone to worry so he assures them before they could even start to worry.

 

Jongin’s head snapped up and his eyes met Kyungsoo’s worried ones. The younger smiled softly and nodded before walking towards Kyungsoo and placing a kiss on the latter’s lips. “I’ll message you once I get to the hospital. Stay in bed and sleep. You need it, Soo hyung” he says softly before placing another kiss, this one was deeper, more desperate and Kyungsoo allowed Jongin to reign over him.

 

Kyungsoo’s more than confused as he watched his boyfriend’s back as he leaves the room. It feels like Jongin is fond of taking care of people but Kyungsoo could see that Jongin wants to be taken care of. It also feels as if one wrong move from Kyungsoo, Jongin would slip away from his grasp and disappear on him. Kyungsoo can’t have that happening, that’s the last thing that he wants to happen. He already let Jongin in his heart and he wants it to stay that way. He will walk around eggshells and thread his way to reach Jongin’s thoughts and heart if it means having the younger trust him completely.

 

 

Jongin runs and runs until he gets to the hospital, not bothering on the fact that he went through the emergency entrance. He ran towards his brother’s private office that’s next to the private examination room. As soon as he opens the door, he fell on his knees, trying to grasp at anything to take away the pain that he’s feeling.

 

“Jongin, Jongin. Hey. Hey” Minseok’s soothing voice called out to him as his older brother wrapped his arms around the youngest before kicking the door close.

 

“hyung, hyung” Jongin calls out in panic, tears were trailing down on his cheek again but he doesn’t care. He’s hurting so much and he just wants the pain to end.

 

“Jongin. Tell me what’s wrong. Come on” Minseok says firmly because it looks like his brother can’t hear him at all.

 

He tightened his hold on his brother to pull them up but Jongin wasn’t moving. He continued bending down to wait for his brother. “hyung, I can’t feel my legs. There’s something wrong. Hyung. They’re’ broken” Jongin sobs into Minseok’s chest.

 

Minseok lets out a sigh, and he hoisted Jongin up on his arm, carrying him like a princess before setting him down on the bed that was on the examination room that’s linked in his office. Jongin’s hands were clenching hard on Minseok’s shoulder but the older lets him.

 

“You’re okay. We’ll check you, okay?” Minseok says softly, comforting his younger brother before pulling Jongin’s arms away from him.

 

The younger reached out and grabbed on Minseok’s hand instead. The older held on to Jongin’s hand tightly before grabbing a pen from his desk. He took off Jongin’s shoes and socks, letting the younger cling on him as much as he wants.

 

“Can you do something for me, Jonginnie?” Minseok asks.

 

He knows that the only way Jongin responds to anyone when he’s in this state is when they treat him as someone fragile even though Jongin is one of the strongest people Minseok has ever met. Jongin nods at him and he leans back, releasing Minseok from his tight hold.

 

“Tell me if you feel something” Minseok says before he drags the tip of his pen from Jongin’s heel to his toes.

 

Jongin’s toes wiggled and he chuckled softly. “Stop, it’s tickling me” he pouts

 

Minseok chuckles and pats Jongin’s head softly. “The other one” Minseok says then he did the same thing to Jongin’s right foot.

 

Jongin kicks and laughs softly before pulling up his knees to his chest to hug it tight. “Jonginnie, you did well. You’re fine. Did something happen to you?” Minseok asks quietly, threading his fingers on Jongin’s messy locks.

 

“Everything hurts when I woke up. I scared Kyungsoo hyung” Jongin mumbles quietly.

 

Minseok notes the sleepiness on his brother’s eyes so he turns on the aircon and lowered the temperature even though Jongin is sockless. He dims the light to ease Jongin back to sleep because he knows that his bear of a brother loves his sleep too much to be up this early.

 

“That’s okay, Jonginnie. I’m sure Kyungsoo understands” Minseok hums in reply.

 

Jongin turns to look at him and he pouts, jutting his lower lip as he speaks. “Won’t he get mad at me?”

 

“Of course not, Jonginnie. I’m sure he’s just worried, he won’t be the type of person who gets mad suddenly, right?” Minseok asks.

 

He fluffs a new pillow to set it under Jongin’s head. He gets another one to give to Jongin because the younger always loves hugging someone.

 

“Right” Jongin agrees quietly.

 

He hugs the pillows close to him and curls up like a ball, his eyelids were already fluttering shut and it will only take a few more minutes to get him to sleep.

 

Minseok reached for Jongin’s head and he runs his fingers through the younger’s hair one again, softly pressing the pads of his fingers on Jongin’s scalp. “Good. Now, Jonginnie I need you to go back and sleep. It’ll feel better once you wake up, can you do that for me?” he asks as quiet as he could.

 

“But it’s cold” he answers but his eyes were already closed.

 

Minseok hums some more before pulling his hand away from Jongin’s hair. “I’ll get you blankets, you can sleep here. I don’t have patients anyway” he says and he begins searching for the fluffy blanket that he has saved for Jonginnie.

 

“Okay” the younger mumbles sleepily.

 

He sighs softly as soon as Minseok drapes the soft blanket over him, leaving his feet tucked out of the blankets.  

 

“Sleepwell, Jonginnie” Minseok says quietly before placing a soft kiss on his brother’s forehead.

 

Minseok stares at his sleeping brother for a second before he locks the examination room’s entrance and left the connecting door to the office open for him. He sends a message to his brothers to tell them that Jongin is with him and sleeping before he sends another message to Kyungsoo to inform him that his brother had arrived safely, knowing that Jongin wouldn’t leave someone’s home without asking permission.

 

\--

 


	6. Specializing in You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated because it's Sehunnie's birthday. Happy birthday maknae~yah!!! <3  
> Enjoy this very short update!~~
> 
> Warning about very mild violence~

 

Kyungsoo is not in a great mood and that was actually an understatement. He was baffled, irritated and almost close to furious but most of all, he’s confused. His boyfriend, just decided to go out of town with his brother Junmyeon without even telling him.

 

The man took off for the conference before New Year and he’s not still back. The Kims are scheduled to arrive today but he hasn’t seen any of the Kims. 

 

“Hyung, did you hear from Jongin?” Sehun asks quietly

 

The both of them are waiting by the second floor that overlooks the entrance of the hospital, so that it will be easier to run downstairs or maybe corner a certain Kim 

 

“No. Did I do something wrong, Sehun?” Kyungsoo asks

 

He doesn’t understand if he did something wrong, Jongin didn’t text him after leaving too, it was Minseok who informed him that Jongin went with his Junmyeon hyung for a convention.

 

“Of course not. I already told you that, he’s just having a hard time. I’m sure he’ll open up when he’s ready” Sehun says softly before giving him a pat on the back.

 

“I just wish he told me now, I’m so worried. I really like him” Kyungsoo sighs quietly before turning to face towards the entrance again.

 

Right on cue, Jongin walks in with an ash gray hair styled down unlike his usually brushed up hair. He was also wearing a brown suede jacket, black scarf and jeans. He looked up at once and squinting his eyes even though he has glasses on.

 

Everyone’s eyes were pointed at him but Jongin’s eyes were locked on Kyungsoo’s. He smiled brightly and waved at the older doctor. “Told you he’s fine” Sehun chuckles before walking away.

 

Jongin was already halfway towards the staircase to go up to Kyungsoo when Kyungsoo got pulled away but another Kim. “What the fuck did you do to my brother?!” Jongdae half-yells, they were still in public and Jongdae didn’t pull him anywhere private.

 

The thing is, Jongdae has been out of the country for a week already and Kyungsoo hasn’t seen him since he got back from Japan with Jongin which is why the younger is so confused as to what Jongdae was pertaining to. “What are you talking about?” he asks quietly

 

Jongdae was still gripping his arm and as much as he likes being manhandled, the only person allowed to do that is Jongin and only him. “You. My brother ran to Minseok hyung for help, what the fuck did you do to him?! He has—“ Kyungsoo cuts him off by removing Jongdae’s hand that was holding him.

 

He turns around to look for Jongin because he should’ve been up the stairs right now.  He finds the younger that was now pulled to the side by another taller man. Jongin had his head hung low as if he was being scolded, he had his hands locked in front of him and Kyungsoo could clearly see that he was close to shivering.

 

“Talk to me later” Kyungsoo says shortly before he made his way down.

 

 

He’s aware that Jongdae followed him down but Kyungsoo hardly cared as he quickly made his way towards Jongin and pulled the younger to stand behind him. He almost growled at the man who was in front of Jongin but someone had beaten him to it.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Jongdae spat, not bothering to lower his voice.

 

“I wanted to talk to Jonginnie” Chanyeol answers back.

 

Kyungsoo felt the man behind him flinch on the nickname and he could also feel that Chanyeol holds that nickname against Jongin. It’s like a trick that Kyungsoo can’t see and it’s fucking frustrating. Jongin grabbed on the back of Kyungsoo’s coat and he leaned his forehead on Kyungsoo’s nape.

 

“Don’t you fucking call my brother that name. Get the hell out of here before I land another punch on your face. This time, I will seriously ruin your face that you won’t have a career to get back to” Jongdae warns, he pushed himself in front of Kyungsoo and Chanyeol to block the taller from grabbing any one of the two doctors.

 

A dimpled smile formed on the taller’s face. He looked at Jongdae with amusement as if he’s not scared of the man in front of him. “Come on, Jongdae~yah. It’s not li—“

 

“I have a boyfriend” Jongin mutters, cutting off Park Chanyeol.

 

The younger’s voice was so low that it was actually surprising that Chanyeol even heard it.  “What?” he asks Jongin.

 

Jongin cleared his throat again and Kyungsoo could feel him clenching his hands around the back of Kyungsoo’s coat tightly as he stands up straight. “I have a boyfriend, we’re happy. Please stop looking for me” Jongin clearly states out.

 

Kyungsoo felt so warm inside and so happy that Jongin still considers him as his boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if the younger decides it to be otherwise. They haven’t been together for too long but that time was enough for Kyungsoo to find himself falling for the younger.

 

“Who’s your boyfriend?” Park Chanyeol smirks and tilts his head to the side.

 

Kyungsoo pushed Jongdae aside a little to show himself before he shot a glare to the taller man. Chanyeol flinched at Kyungsoo’s sharp gaze but he immediately hid his surprise.

 

“Me. Doh Kyungsoo. I don’t think it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Park” Kyungsoo says quietly, not bothering to hide the irritation on his voice.

 

“Oh. You’re Baekhyun’s best friend, the smart one” Chanyeol smirks in amusement

 

Kyungsoo tilts his head to the side and smirks back. “I’m sorry you have me at a disadvantage, Baekhyun never mentioned you to me. And that says a lot since he tells me everything, even the most unimportant things” Kyungsoo says lightly

 

“Of course not. We were childhood friends” Chanyeol answers with a cocked eyebrow

 

“Keyword, were. Get the fuck out Park. Leave my brother alone” Jongdae snapped before he starts pushing on Chanyeol.

 

Seriously, for such a person past half the size of Chanyeol, Jongdae is really feisty. Chanyeol wasn’t moving. He stood his ground even as Jongdae pushed but what they all didn’t expect was a flying fist straight to Park Chanyeol’s nose.

 

“You asshole! You’re going to get sued for assault!” Chanyeol shouted before he even saw who punched him

 

Sehun pushed him towards the ground and straddled his body, using his full weight to keep Chanyeol down. Every person here in the lobby was now looking at the five men gathered right at the side. Jongdae already signaled for the guards but they were still unsure when they saw Sehun pinning down Chanyeol.

 

“Sue me you asshole! After we fucked and you cheated, you come crawling back and looking for another doctor? Are you really that thirsty, you fucking slut! Was it fun laying a hand on me? You abusive jerk!”  Sehun shouted

 

Kyungsoo could swear that Sehun had never used that much curses in one sentence. He was even surprised that Sehun had a relationship with Chanyeol. Sehun is probably just as tall as Chanyeol or maybe a few inches shorter but the younger has broader shoulders and frame, he easily threw Chanyeol to the ground and he was sitting on top of Chanyeol, his fists clenched on the latter’s collar

 

“What the hell are you saying?!” Chanyeol whisper yells

 

Sehun smirked and he lowered his face closer to Chanyeol. “Go sue me. I don’t care. I bet the media is already up your ass. Park Chanyeol fucked by Seoul’s top urologist. Defamation? Slander?  Sure go for it. I may have not fucked you but I have everything to ruin you with so get the fuck out of this hospital and don’t you dare show your face to Jongin” Sehun says sharply but quietly so that others wouldn’t hear except for the four men that was within the range.

 

Kyungsoo would’ve gone to drag Sehun away but Jongin was clinging on his back, he shot a look to Jongdae who was about to move but then Baekhyun appeared out of nowhere to haul Sehun away from Chanyeol.

 

“Have your nose checked at another hospital. We’re banning you from every hospital that we own” Jongdae says quietly, allowing the guards to pull Chanyeol up.

 

 

The five doctors were staring at each other once Chanyeol got dragged out of the hospital. Sehun glared at the bystanders that were gossiping about what happened. 

 

“Jonginnie” Sehun and Jongdae called out softly at once.

 

Jongin flinched behind Kyungsoo and he gripped the older’s coat tighter. “I’m fine” he says firmly.

 

Sehun sighed in relief, raking his fingers through his hair. “Jongin, come with me? Let’s get lunch for our men. They eat a lot” Sehun says nonchalantly.

 

“Our men?” Baekhyun asks in confusion, finally interfering with the silence.

 

“I’m talking about you and Kyungsoo hyung. Come on, Jongin” Sehun says flatly, offering a hand to the man behind Kyungsoo.

 

“B-but” Jongin mutters and holds on to Kyungsoo tighter

 

“It’s okay Jongin. You’re on my service anyway, baby. Go grab something to eat before we talk about work” Kyungsoo says without turning around.

 

He lets Jongin’s head rest on his back while he watches Jongdae go behind him to talk to Jongin.

 

“Hyung, I’m sorry” Jongin mutters, addressing Jongdae with such sad puppy eyes.

 

“Later, Jonginnie” Jongdae says quietly.

 

He gives Jongin a hug and a pat on the back before smiling at the younger widely. It was so reassuring that even Kyungsoo felt better from the smile. Jongdae winked at his brother before walking away from them.

 

 

Kyungsoo finally turned around to look at Jongin. His boyfriend looks so beautiful, he’s still golden from the tan he got in Hawaii and his ash gray hair really fits him. “Hey, beautiful” Kyungsoo greets with a small smile

 

“Hello” Jongin smiled shyly, head bowing before he nuzzled on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

 

“Let’s break up” Kyungsoo says quietly

 

Jongin lifted his head, his eyes widened then he pouts but he nods in agreement even though he clearly looks dejected.. “Okay. I’m really sorry for b-botheri—“

 

“I’m courting you from now on” Kyungsoo cuts him off.

 

 He doesn’t want Jongin to question him anymore so he’s going to do this right way. He doesn’t like not knowing things about Jongin so he’ll make sure that he learns every single thing, every single day.

 

Jongin’s eyes widened even more and he gaped at Kyungsoo. “Go on, prince. Grab some food, I’ll check our schedules so I can take you out to dinner” he says lightly

 

“Excuse me, you are supposed to ask” Sehun points out to his cousin, even though his lips are turned into a smirk already.

 

“Jongin’s mine. If he’s going to reject me, he can do so. I’m just taking care of him” Kyungsoo points out

 

Baekhyun’s mouth opened and he turned to Sehun who was watching his cousin and his best friend in amusement. He saw the glint on Baekhyun’s eyes, making him frown. “Don’t you even dare, Dr. Byun. I’m strictly a top. If we’re going to date, I’m the one taking care of you not the other way around” Sehun says firmly.

 

Baekhyun blushed too much that even his ears were so red. It was funny to see him like this just because of Sehun’s words. “O-okay”

 

“Good. We’ll see you later” Sehun says softly, pulling the still-gaping Jongin to follow him.

 

 

\--

 

 

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo walks to the fellow’s lounge after they checked if they have patients. They were both quiet because Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to ask.

 

“I don’t know what happened to Jongin and Chanyeol. I just want to say that. You know that I’d tell you if I knew. I just know that my ex friend changed a lot and that Sehun loathes him” Baekhyun points out, he clearly was just as surprised that Sehun initiated a fight. 

 

“Yeah” Kyungsoo mumbled.

 

 Both of them should be checking up on patient or maybe getting something to eat but here they are, awkwardly trying to think about what just happened.

 

“Why did you have to break up with Jongin?” Baekhyun asked

 

“Because I like him a lot and I want this to work out” he answered

 

He had thought of this even before Jongin left for America. He figured out that the younger would keep on looking at their relationship as a business deal but it has long passed that point when Kyungsoo found himself searching for Jongin’s soft smiles.

 

“What is not working out?” Baekhyun asks in confusion

 

“I asked him out before because I had a problem and he helped me out. I’m not yet fully okay but I can manage. I just want Jongin to take me seriously. He says he likes me so I want him to see how much I like him too” Kyungsoo answers back

 

He knows that he will have to go into detail with Baekhyun about this but not now. He’d probably talk about this over some glasses of wine or maybe over a couple of vodka and tequila shots just for the sake of being not sober enough.

 

“So you really like him? You haven’t liked anyone since…ever?” Baekhyun mutters in amusement.

 

“Yes, I like Jongin. Since when were you and my cousin dating?”

 

“I actually have to ask him that. I’ve been courting him for ages. I didn’t know we were actually dating already” Baekhyun says in utter disbelief.

 

Kyungsoo chuckles softly and then pats Baekhyun’s shoulder lightly. “Then go ask him properly”

 

 

A few minutes of silence later, Baekhyun glances at Kyungsoo with worried eyes. “Kyung, I’m..I’m sorry about Chanyeol” the older mumbles softly

 

“Baekhyun it wasn’t your fault, we both don’t know what happened and you know I’d never judge you for your friends” Kyungsoo assured him

 

Baekhyun smiled at him softly and curled up next to him. Kyungsoo’s already used to Baekhyun being like this, he rivals Jongin and Sehun’s clingy level to be honest. Those two men, as serious and cold as they can look are such suckers for cuddles.

 

“When we were young Chanyeol and I used to play around, of course he’s bigger than me and I was seriously a stick to match. We used to play rough until we were in high school, I ended up being hospitalized after playing too hard” Baekhyun admits.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he looks at Baekhyun in shock. “What do you mean?” Kyungsoo asks quietly

 

He knows they shouldn’t be talking about this this early or well publicly since they are in the attending’s lounge but no one’s here anyway and Kyungsoo can’t ignore the bitter taste on his mouth after Jongin looked so scared.

 

“We wrestle around and my arm was twisted on my back, I was already tapping out and Chanyeol pushed me more, we both heard my bone dislodge and it was damn painful but Kyung, if you saw Chanyeol at that time, he was fucking high. It’s like he’s a fucking sadist. I got hospitalized because I dislocated my shoulder, Chanyeol furiously apologized and we didn’t play rough but then it happened again but this is a different instance, I came out of the closet and told him I was gay then he admitted that he was bi, we talked about maybe helping each other out to get some experience but he pinned me to the wall, he got really rough, kissing me that I ran out of his house before we could go further, when I got home my lip was bleeding and I had bruises to my wrists just from his hold” Baekhyun says quietly.

 

Kyungsoo’s mind froze and maybe everything started to click into place but Chanyeol is an idol, he wouldn’t do that to Jongin would he?!

 

“I don’t know if Chanyeol is still like that. I got surprised when Sehun said all those things earlier. Just, don’t assume first. I think you should talk to Jongin” Baekhyun says softly.

 

Kyungsoo nods in agreement, seeing Jongin like that earlier really surprised Kyungsoo. Jongin looks so well-put all the time. He’s a very dominating person even though he sinks back to being a soft Jongin when it comes to his brothers and Kyungsoo. He walks like he owns the hospital which is technically true but it’s just that Jongin has always been confident and it’s not right to see him like that earlier.

 

“I’ll let it go for now. He’s about to pick his specialty, I don’t want to guilt him into anything just because I want to know something about him” Kyungsoo says

 

Baekhyun scoffs at him and pinches his side. “Oh you don’t know yet?”

 

“What?” Kyungsoo asks in confusion

 

“He picked already” Baekhyun says nonchalantly

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, do you actually read the memo that’s being emailed? You’re awfully out of the loop every single time” Baekhyun snickers at him

 

Kyungsoo pushes him away and pulls out his phone to see the list of residents who are being transferred to their specialty. He sees a few senior residents who chose Cardio, Pedia and Ortho. “Where is his name!?” Kyungsoo grunts in frustration after he scrolls through the list. Jongin didn’t even sign up for Trauma and note even general surgery which he loves so much.

 

Baekhyun sighs next to Kyungsoo and he takes Kyungsoo’s phone before he scrolls through the list. He stops at something before he zooms in and hands the phone back to Kyungsoo.

 

“Congratulations Dr. Doh, you only have one fellow and that is your purest boyfriend” Baekhyun teases.

 

It actually didn’t matter anymore that no one else wanted to be a neurologist, it was enough that Jongin picked this specialty with him.

 

“He actually wanted to sub-specialize in cardio so I don’t know if that’s possible” Baekhyun adds.

 

Kyungsoo stands up and drags Baekhyun up with him. “You…We need to celebrate. Invite everyone we know. I’ll treat the residents” Kyungsoo says lightly

 

He’s so happy that he doesn’t actually know how to contain it. It’s just that Jongin had never shown his interest in neurosurgery but now he’s going to be Kyungsoo’s junior!

 

“Fellows. Those baby chicks are fellows now” Baekhyun points out

 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at the older and taps his phone furiously to make a call. “Whatever. Invite them all. The closest restaurant. I’ll get a reservation for tonight”

 

“Why not tomorrow? Or next week when it’s actually your birthday” Baekhyun points out.

 

“Now” Kyungsoo says firmly before walking out of the door, off to find his baby.

 

 

 

After minutes of searching Kyungsoo ends up in the cafeteria, he sees Jongin seating across Sehun and the young man was going off in a detailed explanation about something that he’s even using his body to explain properly.

 

Kyungsoo chuckled at this lightly, he’s so whipped and he knows it. He walks straight towards to the two men, Sehun seems him and looks a bit alarmed before he mouthed a couple words to Jongin who stilled in his seat.

 

Kyungsoo reached the table and he tilted Jongin’s chin before he bent down to kiss the younger softly. Jongin gasped against Kyungsoo’s lips before he melted into the kiss, letting Kyungsoo take over. They were both out of breath when Kyungsoo pulled away, he was smiling brightly at Jongin.

 

“I didn’t want to see that” Sehun deadpans before taking a sip of his bubble tea.

 

Jongin’s eyes were glistening just like his now red lips. “Uhm” he mutters

 

“You picked me” Kyungsoo says softly

 

Jongin looked confused for a second before he sits up and nods “U-uh. Oh! I…I did. I wanted to learn from you and you’re the only one who didn’t hover around me all the time. I already had my decision locked before you even came to me” he says shyly

 

Of course he wouldn’t tell Kyungsoo that he actually had a crush on him that’s why he wanted to always be under his service but it doesn’t matter now because Kyungsoo is now courting him.

 

“You’re so beautiful. You have beautiful hands, a beautiful mind and I’m pretty sure you’ll be the best addition to this department” Kyungsoo beams at him so proudly.

 

“Oh my gosh, are you fucking glowing, hyung?! You look like Jongin fucked you into next week that you’re still glowing from all the release” Sehun says in both amusement and surprise.

 

Kyungsoo shot him a glare but then decides to calm down. “Let’s all celebrate later. My treat. I’m treating all the new fellows”

 

“Are you sure you’re treating them or just Jongin? Because you know that’s actually favoritism and we don’t encourage things like that here in the hospital” Sehun points out

 

“Shut the fuck up, Sehun. I treated you too when you finally decided on taking your fascination with penis to another level” Kyungsoo answers back.

 

“Hey!” Sehun says in an offended tone.

 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at Sehun who swatted his arm lightly. “Don’t start with me. Come on, Jongin. You’re still under my service until the end of the day. We have a few surgeries” Kyungsoo says lightly

 

Jongin chuckles softly, amused that his hyung looked so happy. If he knew that this simple decision would bring that heart shaped smile stuck on Kyungsoo’s face, he would’ve told the older his decision from the start.

 

\-- 

 


	7. Revelations in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Chanyeol, I truly do.   
> Enjoy reading~~~

 

Three months passed pretty fast and spring has bloomed beautifully and quietly. Jongin has been busy with everything. He actually spends less of his time in his own place and spends more on Kyungsoo’s place. Even though their shifts clashes sometimes, it was fine for him. He loved being around Kyungsoo’s dogs and his house. He actually gave into Kyungsoo’s courting after their birthday but Kyungsoo still loved pampering Jongin anyway even now that they’re boyfriends.

 

Kyungsoo on the other hand is undeniably pissed off. He has been working back to back because some of the neurosurgeons decided to take a vacation leave all at the same time, leaving Jongin and him too busy. April rolled on pretty rough and he knows that without the breaks, he would break something or someone with all the patients that he has.

 

He’s now at the hospital, finishing up his rounds before he goes home and hopefully see Jongin home too. He didn’t know when it started but it just felt right seeing Jongin in his house when he gets home or before the younger goes to work. They might miss each other most of the time because of the fucking schedule but seeing Jongin hanging out in his house feels so warm.

 

Kyungsoo sighed and he storms to Junmyeon’s office with a frown on his face. “I need a fucking break or I will break someone” Kyungsoo complains.

 

He went directly to Junmyeon because the latter just became the chief of surgery and he’s the boss of the bosses. “Uhm?” the older answers

 

Kyungsoo finally glanced at the room and then he sees another man sitting next to Junmyeon on the couch. He was also wearing a white coat and he looks just as pleasant as Junmyeon.

 

“Oh. Sorry” Kyungsoo mutters an apology, even though he knocked, he should’ve waited for Junmyeon’s answer.

 

Like the angel Junmyeon is, he waves of Kyungsoo’s apology and smiles at him. “It’s fine. I understand. That’s why I actually have Yixing here. He just got back from his vacation, actually he was in Seattle and he trained there for a whole year. He just accepted the job” he explains

 

“What job?” Kyungsoo asks in confusion.

 

“Head of your department. I just fired the other head who thought that it would be wise to leave you and my brother to take over everything just because Jongin didn’t want to train under him. This is Zhang Yixing, I assume you already heard of him, his techniques are actually pretty unique” Junmyeon says lightly and Kyungsoo couldn’t ignore the proud smile on his face.

 

Yixing smiles at Kyungsoo and wow those dimples are damn deep. Kyungsoo allowed himself to look at the man properly and then he sees something shiny to ignore.

 

“Oh…You’re married” Kyungsoo pointed out when he sees the ring shining brightly on the man’s left hand ring finger.

 

Junmyeon lets out a sound close to choking or spluttering while Yixing just smiled back at Kyungsoo. “Yes. This man is actually my husband, we’ve been boyfriends since I transferred here from China, we met in med school. We got hitched in Vegas when he came there last January. I had to drag him with his youngest brother because I couldn’t wait any longer” Yixing admits with a sheepish smile, Kyungsoo smiles as he notices the cute Chinese accent of the taller.

 

“Oh. Congrats! Wow. Junmyeon~ssi. Wow” Kyungsoo says in awe.

 

“Thank you. Uhm. I just thought it wouldn’t be appropriate to announce it now that Yixing’s coming to work. Minseok and Jongdae also got pretty mad at me when they figured out that I got married without them but of course they calmed down once I promised another wedding which doesn’t involve drunk priests and strippers as witnesses” Junmyeon says shyly

 

He was adorably red and flustered that Kyungsoo wanted to coo at the older. Ever since Jongin became his boyfriend he always had the urge to coo at his boyfriend. “Congratulations again, you two look good together. I assume you work well together seeing that Doctor Zhang has been with you for a long time” he teases lightly

 

Junmyeon hid his face behind his hands and he grunts in embarrassment while Yixing just chuckles and kissed his temple. “Kyungsoo~ssi, please go home. I can handle the patients tonight. I also brought fellow and residents here to train. The other doctors that were on a vacation would come back tomorrow anyway. Junmyeon already called Jongin to tell him to take his off too” Yixing says softly, his smile says a lot that Kyungsoo wonders what Junmyeon told him about his relationship with Jongin.

 

“Okay. I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll grab Jongin dinner before I head home” Kyungsoo says and excused himself from the two men.

 

“Take care! Hope to not see you until Friday!” Yixing calls out before Kyungsoo closed the door.

 

It was only Sunday, what the hell is he talking about? Kyungsoo didn’t need until Friday to rest. He has his patients and as much as he wants to spend time with Jongin, he can’t just disappear on his patients.

 

He messages Jongin that he’s going to be home in a few. Jongin replied pretty quickly that he’s just dropping by the mart to buy some drinks and sweets. This is adorably domestic even for Kyungsoo, maybe it’s time that he gives his gift to Jongin. It would be better now than later, right?

 

 

 

Kyungsoo decided to have the valet park his car and walk through the lobby but then he sees the familiar mop of gray hair right at the corner of the building. He stops and walks towards the alleyway to check if it was Jongin.

 

“I said kneel, Jonginnie. You want me right? I’ll give it to you baby boy”

 

The voice sets off multiple alarms in Kyungsoo’s head and he immediately rounded the corner. He sees Jongin down on his knees and the fucking tall man carding his fingers through Jongin’s gray locks. “Move and I swear I’ll end you” Kyungsoo says sharply

 

He had never been the one to make threats but seeing Jongin so submissive like that just pains him. “Jongin stand up” Kyungsoo calls out.

 

The taller had let go of Jongin’s hair but he was still kneeling down and looking at his hands that were placed on his lap. “Jongin!” Kyungsoo growls out, his voice was too loud even for himself

 

That seem to get the younger’s attention because his face tilted up, his eyes full of shock as he looks at Kyungsoo in surprise. “Get up, Jongin. Go home. I’ll be there with you” Kyungsoo says, his voice softening at the end of the sentence.

 

Jongin looked so scared and embarrassed at the same time that when he rose from his spot, he pushed away Chanyeol and ran away. Kyungsoo knew that Jongin wasn’t heading towards his building because the younger had already crossed the street.

 

“Do you need a fucking restraining order? I don’t know what you think you had with Jongin but that’s long over. Keep your filthy hands off of my man” Kyungsoo says sharply to Chanyeol who is looking at him in amusement.

 

Chanyeol looked like he couldn’t care less about Kyungsoo but this where he’s wrong. Kyungsoo has been through so much that he won’t let anyone hurt the ones he cares about. Still carrying the take-out meal that he bought, he storms towards Chanyeol, dropping the bag on the floor and pinning the older on the wall.

 

Chanyeol was grinning at him, he seems to be enjoying this. It’s fucking sick. “You think it’s funny? Laugh about it as I ruin your career” Kyungsoo spat out before releasing the tall man harshly

 

 

Kyungsoo’s hands were shaking as he dialed a number while he crossed the street. It took a lot of rings before the other line picked up. He could hear the familiar beeps of machines and almost slapped himself for calling at this time.

 

“Yes, my dear best friend? I’m in the middle of a lung repair” Baekhyun greets him brightly

 

“Baek. I can’t reach Sehunnie. Can you call him and just tell him to drop by my house and take my dogs” Kyungsoo says hurriedly.

 

“Are you fine?” Baekhyun asked quietly.

 

“I have an emergency. I just. Baek..” Kyungsoo trails off as he punched Jongin’s code on the elevator panel.

 

“Sure yes. I’ll take them once I’m done. Sehun is in Busan. I don’t think he’ll make it back. I’m almost done here. I can pick them up” Baekhyun assures him hurriedly.

 

“Thank you” he mutters.

 

“Be careful. Call me if you need me” Baekhyun offers before Kyungsoo hangs up.

 

When Kyungsoo reached Jongin’s foyer, he has half the mind to go back to his house but he can’t leave Jongin like that. He looked really broken earlier and it’s the first time Kyungsoo saw him that way. He belatedly curses as he remembers the food that he threw and his car key that was left with the valet.

 

He removed his shoes before he steps into the house. He has been here only one time, when he picked up Jongin for their trip. Jongin said that he wanted to tour Kyungsoo properly so they have been saving it for their free day.

 

He sighs when he sees the first mess just as he enters the living room. Things were thrown around and of course the beautiful glass table got shattered. He barely remembers Sehun saying that Jongin’s room was on the second floor. This house is too spacious for one person, it was a penthouse, it felt empty but it feels more of Jongin. He’s everywhere around this place, everywhere Kyungsoo looks, he sees Jongin.

 

Kyungsoo walks upstairs quietly, he sees the light coming out from one of the rooms so he automatically heads there. Jongin wasn’t inside the room when he got inside but he hears the water coming from the en-suite bathroom. The door was open widely and he could hear the sobs from his boyfriend.

 

He empties his pockets, rolling up both his sleeves and the hem of his pants before he takes off his socks. He knocks on the door before entering it. He sees Jongin at once, the man was hugging his knees close to his chest, he’s fully dressed but he’s letting the water drench him.

 

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo calls out

 

Jongin raised his head and he looked at Kyungsoo with a dead expression written all over his face and eyes. “Hyung, please fuck me”

 

Kyungsoo sighs and shakes his head. He doesn’t know what’s running around Jongin’s mind but he thinks it’s about the fact that Kyungsoo saw him kneeling in front of another man. “Jongin, do you want to wash up?” Kyungsoo asks softly, ignoring the request that Jongin made.

 

The younger nods at him and reaches out his hand to Kyungsoo, the latter smiles a little before he links his hand with Jongin’s, he turned off the shower that was too cold before he pulls Jongin up. He patiently removed Jongin’s clothes, the younger was just quietly watching him and letting him do everything as if both of them were afraid to break the fragile silence

 

Kyungsoo prepared a bath for them in Jongin’s tub, it was too wide and it can probably fit 3 people. He fills the bath with the strawberry scent mixed with the vanilla shower gel. He guided Jongin to the tub and let the younger settle comfortably before he sits on the head of the tub, his legs now drenched in water as he pulls Jongin back to relax between his legs.

 

He worked quietly, lathering Jongin’s hair with coconut shampoo that the younger came to love when they went to Hawaii. It smells sweet and refreshing. Kyungsoo could still feel Jongin crying but he didn’t dare stop the younger. If there’s one thing his father taught him, it was that everyone should be allow to feel what they want to feel and release that emotion instead of bottling it up.

 

“Baby, do you want to go to Jeju with me?” Kyungsoo says softly as he massages Jongin’s scalp.

 

Jongin tilted his head up, tears were still staining his cheeks and he was pouting. “You have patients and I have mine too” he answers softly.

 

“I can ask Dr. Zhang to handle my patients and you can hand yours over to the doctors who are there tomorrow. We can go to the hospital tomorrow and leave for Jeju after” Kyungsoo assures him.

 

 

Kyungsoo allowed Jongin to think about it, the younger started playing with his hair, looking so adorable playing with the bubbles while Kyungsoo lathered Jongin’s body with body wash. “Hyung” the younger says softly

 

“Hmm?” he hums in answer

 

“Can you stay with me?” Jongin asks quietly as if he’s scared that Kyungsoo would run away or something.

 

“Of course Jongin. I’m staying anyway whether you wanted me here or not. I would’ve slept on the couch downstairs just to make sure that you’re fine” Kyungsoo assures him before placing a soft kiss on the younger’s cheek

 

“Thank you” Jongin mumbled

 

He still has questions but he can’t ask them right now. In fact he doesn’t know how to ask Jongin because he’s afraid that it’ll trigger bad memories. To be honest he really wants to pry and prod but he knows to well that doing so would just make things worse. He just hopes that Jongin would gladly open up to him one of these days. 

 

 

After he dried Jongin and his hair, he dressed up the younger in boxers and a pair of sweatpants. Jongin hates wearing shirts at home while Kyungsoo hates wearing sweatpants while sleeping, they're really two halves of a whole. Once he got Jongin settled down on the bed and tucked in, he takes a very quick shower and borrowed some clothes from Jongin’s large wardrobe, not carrying whether the clothes are too large for his small frame.

 

He frowns when he sees his baby still frowning while sleeping. He straightens Jongin’s creased forehead before placing a kiss on his forehead then his lips. “I’ll get us something to eat. I’ll be here when you wake up” he assures the boy before surrounding him with pillows.

 

 

Kyungsoo heads down to clear down the mess at the living room. He calls for take-out before he starts cleaning up all over the place. He frowns when the delivery came in the form of a Kim Jongdae who looks at him with surprise. “Where’s Jongin?”

 

“We need to talk” Kyungsoo says quietly.

 

Jongdae immediately noticed the glass-less coffee table and the missing decors around Jongin’s living room and his heartbeat spiked up. He was about to go upstairs but Kyungsoo stopped him. “I put him to sleep. We should talk before I wake him up”

 

Jongdae followed Kyungsoo to the kitchen, letting the younger navigate blindly in the kitchen in search of bowls and utensils. “I saw him with Chanyeol. Chanyeol asked him to kneel and when I got there he was kneeling, bowing down as if Chanyeol had all the power over him. Baekhyun told me that Chanyeol had the tendency to play hard, did he hurt Jongin in any way?”

 

“Tendency to play hard? More like he lives for it. That man is a psychotic sadist. Look, It’s not my place to tell you but no one will if I don’t. Jongin thinks he’s already through it but he’s not. He’s still living in that place and even though Sehun tried, he couldn’t take him out”

 

“Can you start at the beginning? I’m fucking clueless here. I don’t know why my cousin is involved” Kyungsoo says in mild confusion

 

“How much do you love Jongin?” Jongdae asks bluntly

 

Love wasn’t the exact definition that Kyungsoo would say since they’re only 3 months into their new relationship but who was he kidding. Baekhyun has been teasing him about being too whipped that he doesn’t bother to correct him.

 

“How much? How do you count your love? I can’t see the start or the end of what I’m feeling for Jongin. I’m at lost here, Jongdae. I’ve been with your brother and I’m walking around eggshells because he can’t fully trust me. I just want to see him fully. I bared my soul enough for him to take me and wreck me. I don’t think you should ask how much I love Jongin. If you asked me how much am I willing to let go for Jongin then my answer would be what you imagined. I’m willing to let go of everything I have just to keep Jongin” Kyungsoo answers while transferring one of the dishes in the bowl.

 

“That’s selfish. That’s possessive and very scary” Jongdae points out with amusement in his voice

 

“And do you think Jongin deserves less? I would move to another country if your brother asked me to do so but that’s the point, Jongin had never asked anything from me. He loves to give and he hates receiving unless it’s from you or your brothers so tell me what I need to know” he demands as much as he asks.

 

Jongdae look utterly pleased. He still didn’t help Kyungsoo into transferring the dishes because he thinks that Kyungsoo should be actually doing something while he unloads all the information that he just asked for.

 

“Jongin and Chanyeol went way back, before Jongin’s pre-med. Jongin loved dancing, he lives for it. He used to train in a private dance studio and I guess since the idol was training too, he signed up for the sessions apart from his training studios at the agency. They got along pretty well and Jongin always welcomed Chanyeol to our home. Suddenly he introduced Chanyeol as his boyfriend. I personally think that Jongin didn’t want to go into medicine” Jongdae points out after he takes out some fruits from the fridge and starts cutting them up.

 

“Then why is he a doctor now?” Kyungsoo asks even though he thinks he really doesn’t want to hear the answer.

 

“Jongin practices hard every time, he stays late and he keeps on pushing even days before his recitals. He used to come home with bruises all over him but one time he called Minseok hyung and he was rushed to the hospital, he fractured his leg. That injury really broke Jongin since he couldn’t perform for his recital, he wasn’t rushed to the hospital immediately, it was a bad break and it was so swollen that we all berated Jongin for waiting before going to the hospital” Jongdae says quietly

 

Kyungsoo could already feel the bitterness in Jongdae’s tone, even he couldn’t understand that Jongin waited to call on his brother. Jongin’s responsible enough to call for help so why didn’t he do that.

 

“Jongin was so in love, I didn’t know why until I found him one night almost drowning on his own blood, it was pooling around the white carpet, his arm and leg broken, there was a small knife in the room and I completely lost my shit” Jongdae admits before he tossed the fruits gently in the bowl. 

 

“What?” Kyungsoo asks in shock.

 

He stopped transferring the dishes on the plates and he stares at Jongdae in shock. He feels like he lost a huge part of the story or did Jongdae actually skipped into that gruesome part?  

 

“I kept calling out his name but he didn’t respond, he was awake but he was just lying there in his room, blissed out and I thought he was high on drugs. We rushed him to the hospital, all the wounds were superficial except for the broken arm and leg. I checked the cctv and saw that it was Chanyeol that was the last person in the house with Jongin. I knew they were rough because hell those two kissed like there was no tomorrow, like Chanyeol is the source of air but then everything clicked in place” Jongdae continues with a frown.

 

He opens the fridge and hands Kyungsoo a can of beer before proceeding on opening his own. This is too heavy for dinner prep. He just hopes that Jongin’s not yet awake because he doesn't want to explain why he's suddenly dumping all of these to Kyungsoo. 

 

“When Jongin came to, he didn’t respond to his name but he responded to Jonginnie. It’s a pet name, Chanyeol’s pet name to Jongin. Jongin was so clingy and needy that I saw how much he depended on Chanyeol, Chanyeol made him that way. Jongin was so carefree, he didn’t even want to depend on us his brothers but at that time all he wanted was Chanyeol. Junmyeon hyung came and I told him about Jongin, he said something about subspace, leaving the submissive into a place of their own where their master or dom takes care of them” Jongdae explains

 

Kyungsoo nods at him because he has read more about it after Jongin tested out on him. He didn’t like not feeling Jongin but at the time he couldn’t take care of himself so he allowed Jongin to do it for him, he thought they could bring it into play since Jongin knew how to handle him but right now, this is the last thing on his mind. 

 

“How did you ease him out?” Kyungsoo asks quietly.

 

Jongdae gives him a small smile and shakes his head at the memory. “Yixing hyung did. He majored in psychology and he really helped out taking Jongin out of that space without touching him but Jongin still slips into Jonginnie once in a while that’s why we still use it the name around him to just let him feel safe. There was one time that it was so bad, Chanyeol just debuted and Jongin came to the agency begging for him to come back of course Chanyeol gave in, that fucker is such an asshole. Jongin felt disgusted when he came home. He was already in med school that time, he lost it and he was just cried so bad. He still remembers the feeling of losing the feel on his leg and I think that’s what makes it worse. He comes back to that space then he remembers that he lost his chance on dancing and all” Jongdae says finally wrapping up the topic.

 

Kyungsoo clenched hard on the now-empty can that he’s holding but then Jongdae took it away from him. “I was hostile to you, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want a repeat of that” Jongdae smiles softly

 

His smile really reminds Kyungsoo of a cat, mostly because his lips curl up at the corners and his eyes turns into half-moons. It was somehow comforting even though their topic is the least comforting. “You said something about Sehun” Kyungsoo points out

 

“Ah. You know that news going around about Sehun and Jongin? They got really drunk, actually Jongin got himself drunk while he had to made Sehun tipsy to do what he asked” Jongdae says

 

“What did he ask?”

 

“He asked Sehun to put him back to that Jonginnie space, rough him up and fuck him then ease him out properly. He thought that after that he won’t slip in back to Jonginnie. He’s scared to become Jonginnie again because he falls back to his pattern, he seeks Chanyeol” Jongdae explains.

 

The pit on Kyungsoo’s stomach gets larger and larger that he wants to just drown himself in beer or something hard. His Jongin, his boyfriend suffered this bad and Kyungsoo just basically shoved himself to the young man when he asked for help about his problem.

 

“Did it work?” Kyungsoo asks

 

Jongdae looks at him in confusion before he nods in understanding. “Sehun? Oh yeah, it did but now that Chanyeol’s hovering around him I don’t think he can keep it that way” he answers lightly

 

“He asked me to fuck him earlier” Kyungsoo admits quietly

 

He finally clears everything and throws the trash in the bin before he takes the plates and bowls to the dining table.

 

“Don’t you do that on a daily basis?” Jongdae points out in amusement.

 

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes at him and shook his head. “No, he’s the one fucking me” he answers.

 

“Oh. Oh. I thought you’re a top, dude everyone thinks that you’re a top” Jongdae says, he looks utterly shocked about the revelation.

 

“For some reason I couldn’t top before” Kyungsoo deadpans

 

“And now?” Jongdae asks as he helps set the table.

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t tried it and now, I don’t think I want to make Jongin remember things like that” he answers flatly

 

He doesn't really want to make Jongin remember anything that's hurtful or sad. That would be the last thing Kyungsoo would want to do to Jongin. 

 

“Jongin’s happy, he’s so happy that I can’t hate you for it. If he asked for it then he’s probably ready” Jongdae points out with a smirk

 

Before Kyungsoo could say anything, he sees a sleepy Jongin walking towards them. Kyungsoo’s eyes closed in to one of Jongins’ wrist where he could see a bruise forming. That Fucking Park Chanyeol, Kyungsoo swears he'd hit the man if he sees him again. Fuck the media. 

 

“Hyung?” Jongin asks in confusion

 

“Who am I talking to?” Jongdae asks as he pulled a chair for Jongin.

 

“Jongin” the younger frowns then he turned to face Kyungsoo who was still watching him.

 

“What did you tell him?” Jongin says in accusing tone.

 

Jongdae cocked an eyebrow at him and he smiled a little. “Nothing much but enough to know” Jongdae shrugs lightly

 

Jongin’s face shattered and Kyungsoo panicked a little when the boy lowered his head and moved away from them. “Baby, hey. I’m not going anywhere” Kyungsoo assured him

 

“B-but…you know” the younger mutters in embarrassment, clearly shying away when Kyungsoo reached out for him 

 

“And?” Kyungsoo asks flatly

 

He hates it when Jongin shies away from him. The man is the most beautiful and talented person he has ever met in his whole life plus Jongin is such a sweetheart too, he jsut wants to see him mile all the time. 

 

“I’m disgusting” Jongin says, lowering his head down even more.

 

Kyungsoo forced Jongin to look up to him and kept him looking directly at his eyes. “No! What’s disgusting here is that fucking piece of shit that you call your ex. God, Jongin. I’d love to fuck him and leave him fucking broken see how he deals with that shit. You don’t deserve this, you..Jongin. I just…Please just let me take care of you” Kyungsoo breaks down.

 

He doesn’t feel himself crying until a pair of hands cups his face, soft fingers brushing away the tears on his cheeks and Jongin was looking at him in both awe and raw emotions.

 

He should’ve chosen the calmest words but all he feels is the burning rage of wanting to be violent to Park Chanyeol.

 

“I’m leaving, you two are too cringy” Jongdae mumbles before he runs out of the penthouse.

 

“I love you. I love you so much Jongin. Let me take care of you” Kyungsoo says, he stutters at the end but his voice was firm.

 

He stopped believing in love but Jongin just changed it. How much Jongin changed in his life, he would never know but all he wants is for Jongin to love him back. “Hyung” Jongin mumbles and hugs him tightly. “Please, please” he begs.

 

 

 

They both went to work the next day, surprising Junmyeon and Yixing who were probably expecting on not seeing the two men near the hospital after three months of working without break. “I’m taking Jongin to a vacation”

 

“You’re not getting married, right?” Junmyeon asks quietly

 

“No. Not yet” Kyungsoo answers lightly, surprising both Junmyeon and Jongin who instantly turned red and smiled shyly at the two men

 

“Oh?” Yixing mused, a smirk gracing his beautiful calm face

 

“Vacation. I’m leaving my patients with you” Kyungsoo deadpans

 

“Of course. Jongin you can leave yours to Luhan hyung, he’s somewhere around. He’s pretty but don’t tell him I said that. I think you’ll find him with Minseok” Yixing smirks a little more, his dimple taunting Kyungsoo or maybe teasing, what difference does it make?

 

Jongin nods before he excuses himself, leaving Kyungsoo with the married couple. “Is there a problem?” Junmyeon asks with a worried tone.

 

“I need you to fucking take care of Park Chanyeol because the next time I see him near Jongin, I will cut him open and I’ll be willing to end up in jail” Kyungsoo answers back.

 

“Oh. He knows” Yixing points out with a pout

 

“Who told you?” Junmyeon frowns, almost mirroring the pout on his husband's face

 

“Is that important? You need a damn restraining order against him. I don’t care if he’s an idol. I will ruin his everything with all that I have” Kyungsoo bites out in anger before he frowns at the two

 

“I’m sorry. I..” he mutters

 

“We understand. I’ll make sure he wouldn’t be a problem when you get back” Junmyeon assures him.

 

Kyungsoo nods and he was surprised when Junmyeon pulled him in for a hug. “Thank you for not leaving Jongin” he says quietly

 

Yixing was smiling at him when Junmyeon pulled away. Kyungsoo swears that there’s more than Yixing’s blank expression. He’s like the type of person who knows too much but he’ll keep you guessing.

 

Jongin came back after a while and he beams at Kyungsoo. “I’m ready, hyung!”

 

“Great, we’re going to miss our flight if we stay longer” Kyungsoo says, encircling his arm around Jongin’s waist and placing a kiss on the taller’s shoulder.

 

“Let us know if you need something” Junmyeon says before he says goodbye to his brother.

 

Jongin beams at them before giving the two guys a very tight hug. "I will! Bye now!~"

 

\--

 


	8. Absolute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This took too long even though I've finished typing a month ago. I just felt empty and blank for the past few weeks. I hope this update, clears up some things for you all.   
> Have fun!~~ <3

 

 

Jeju in spring is beautiful, Kyungsoo was right to take Jongin here this time. He knows last night’s events has not yet been forgotten and Jongin’s request still weighs behind his mind but what’s more disconcerting is the fact that he still has to give something to Jongin. He doesn’t think it’s the right time after learning that Jongin had to suffer those things with Chanyeol. He doesn’t want to make Jongin think that his necklace is a symbol for ownership even if Kyungsoo also wants it that way.

 

“Hyung, why did you rent a convertible?”

 

“So that I can see the wind and flowers on your hair. I really like seeing you happy, Jongin” Kyungsoo admits

 

Jongin asked Kyungsoo to stop over a salon early in the morning before they headed to the hospital because the younger wanted to dye his hair back to dark brown, matching Kyungsoo’s own.

 

“I like seeing you happy too. I’m sorry if my story is too heavy for you” Jongin mumbles

 

Kyungsoo reaches out with his free hand and held Jongin’s hand with it. He loves driving Jongin to places because Jongin is such a pretty passenger. He’s not too noisy and he’s not too quiet.

 

“Baby, do you like me calling you baby?” Kyungsoo asks softly

 

“Yes” the younger answers shyly

 

“Do you like me taking care of you?” he asks again.

 

“Yes. I liked it when you bathed me” Jongin murmurs.

 

“I liked it too. I like it when you depend on me, Jongin” Kyungsoo says, tightening his hold on Jongin’s hand.

 

“I hate it now that you call me Jongin” the younger pouts

 

Kyungsoo can’t turn his head to look but he knows Jongin is pouting since the younger has that habit of pouting a lot.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you shouted my name in anger once and now I can’t get it out of my head” Jongin answers quietly

 

“I’m sorry, Nini. Can I call you that? Nini?” Kyungsoo says softly, the nickname rolled off his tongue easily just like how Jongin calls him Soo.

 

Jongin hummed in response and Kyungsoo thinks that it’s a good thing. He needs to test his limits before actually doing something. He has thought this through last night as he watched Jongin sleep and he will try to make it work.

 

 

 

Right after dinner, Kyungsoo paces back and forth at the sitting area of their suite. He’s waiting for Jongin to finish taking a shower because he already took one when they got here. He’s holding the box that he has been holding on since Christmas and he still doesn’t know whether to give it to Jongin or not.

 

Kyungsoo stops pacing when he sees the mop of brown hair peeking out of the bedroom door. “Hyung? Can we watch a movie?” Jongin asks, his body still hidden inside the room but Kyungsoo knows that the younger is naked.

 

“I’ll order us some popcorn” Kyungsoo mutters and picks up the phone.

 

He fiddles with the television and starts looking for a random movie as he waits for Jongin and the popcorns. He requested a pack of popcorns because they had a microwave in their suite but when the bellboy came, he came with a complete set of movie house treats from two buckets of popcorn, a bucket of nachos, cheese dip, candies and chocolates then of course the drinks.

 

Kyungsoo gave him a tip before locking the door again and pushing the tray inside the room. Jongin was already at the couch, he was dressed in an oversized dark green cashmere sweater that Kyungsoo gave him for Christmas and he’s not wearing anything underneath except for a pair of tight boxers.

 

“Hyung?” Jongin looks up at him

 

The movie was changed into something else and the opening credits were just rolling. Kyungsoo placed all the food on the table before he closes the light and sits next to Jongin. The young man seemed to have dragged the comforter to the living room and a couple of pillows because they are bunched on the floor. Jongin immediately took his spot and laid his head on Kyungsoo’s lap.

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t concentrate, he kept on fiddling with the box on the pocket of his jacket before Jongin finally sat up and stared at him. “What’s wrong?” the younger asks.

 

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before letting it out. He removes his jacket, leaving him in his white t-shirt and boxers. He takes the box out of the pocket before tossing the jacket to the other chair. “I wanted to give this to you last Christmas” Kyungsoo starts, opening the box and showing Jongin the simple necklace that could actually serve as a choker with a cute baby bear as its pendant.

 

Jongin’s eyes widened and his mouth opened in surprise. “If you don’t want it—“

 

“Please put it on me, hyung” Jongin cuts him off, turning around to face his back on Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo’s shock passed by a few seconds before he takes out the necklace and gently places it on Jongin’s neck. Of course it’s damn beautiful, Jongin makes everything beautiful. “Tighter?” Kyungsoo asks as he was trying to see whether to clasp it loose or tight.

 

Jongin nods in agreement before Kyungsoo pulls on the necklace and clips it as a choker. Fuck that’s beautiful. Jongin spins around and places a kiss on Kyungsoo’s lips, he’s smiling brightly when he pulls away. “This means that I’m yours, right?”

 

“Of course, Jongin. You’re mine as long as you want and I am all yours” Kyungsoo assures him.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo thinks that it’s not all about pain. Jongin had put him under just by cooing and treating him like a baby, he probably lost his grasp on reality as soon as Jongin touched him but never mind that. Kyungsoo needs to know where Jongin’s trigger starts.

 

They’re halfway through the movie and Jongin’s still resting his head on Kyungsoo’s lap while Kyungsoo runs his fingers through Jongin’s hair. He massages the younger’s scalp before twirling his locks on his finger and pulls lightly. Kyungsoo tugs again, this time harder but still painless and a moan slips out of Jongin’s lip.

 

“Nini?” Kyungsoo calls softly

 

Jongin wasn’t answering but his body moved back to the couch and he presses his head closer to Kyungsoo’s crotch as he curls up on himself. Ah. He’s here.

 

Kyungsoo tilts Jongin’s face and saw that his beautiful eyes were glazed, he looks already lost that Kyungsoo got pretty worried. “Nini, come back to me a little. I need to talk to you” Kyungsoo says softly, he brushes his thumb on Jongin’s jaw before tracing the younger’s lower lip with it.

 

Jongin mewled and opened up his mouth, darting his soft tongue to lick at Kyungsoo’s thumb but Kyungsoo pulled his thumb away. “Nini, call me Soo hyung. You can do that, right? You can call me hyung?” Kyungsoo asks.

 

“Words, baby. I need words” Kyungsoo says firmly once he sees Jongin nodding in answer

 

“Yes, hyung” Jongin mumbles

 

Kyungsoo hums before he lets Jongin turn back to face the television with Kyungsoo’s hand stuck in-between his own. Kyungsoo lets Jongin play with his fingers, he allows the younger when he starts sucking on Kyungsoo’s thumb, playing with it using his tongue.

 

Suddenly, Kyungsoo’s dick nor his attention is focused on the damn animated movie that they were supposed to watch. His eyes are locked on Jongin’s mouth where those plush lips are closing on his thumb, sucking as if there’s no tomorrow.

 

The tightness of his boxers is really uncomfortable but Jongin is still watching and he’s lost somewhere that Kyungsoo doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to force anything on Jongin.

 

After a while, Jongin moans out softly and that caught Kyungsoo’s attention again because why the hell would Jongin moan because of an animated movie. Jongin’s lips parted, he lets go of Kyungsoo’s thumb, letting the trail of saliva fall on his cheeks. Kyungsoo turns his eyes towards where Jongin is looking and then he sees the reason why the younger was moaning.

 

Jongin was touching himself, slowly as if he didn’t want to get caught. His gaze flew to Kyungsoo when he starts to push down his boxers, lifting his sweater up a little to show his fully hard cock. Instead of speaking, Kyungsoo gently pushed two fingers on Jongin’s mouth, the younger immediately sucked on his digits and swirled his tongue over them.

 

“Do you need help with that Nini?” Kyungsoo asks as he eyes the sloppy movement of Jongin’s hand.

 

Jongin nods but Kyungsoo pushes his fingers further, making the younger choke on them. He pulls out his fingers and moves Jongin back sideways. He pushes on both of Jongin’s thighs, bending it a little to see Jongin’s hole.

 

“Don’t move” Kyungsoo warns before he stood up and took one of the pillows, placing it under Jongin’s head then he takes another pillow to put under the younger’s stomach as he was already lying face down on the couch.

 

Kyungsoo settles behind Jongin, he pushes the younger’s hips up making the younger moan out loud. “Hyung~~”

 

“So now you call me” Kyungsoo smirks at him and he reaches for the lube that he placed on the end table near the couch just to be ready in case Jongin wanted to fuck him.

 

He poured a decent amount of the strawberry flavored lube on Jongin’s hole, watching it twitch as the liquid rolls down to the younger’s balls. He personally doesn’t like strawberry as much as Jongin does but what he wants is Jongin, flavors doesn’t matter.

 

He licks a large stripe of Jongin’s ass cheek, keeping a hand on the other to grope it. Little Nini is so sensitive, he moans at everything and especially once Kyungsoo finally dipped in his tongue on Jongin’s entrance.

 

Instead of letting Jongin rut on the pillow, Kyungsoo used his lubed up hand to jerk of Jongin’s hard length. He pumped as fast as he thrusts his tongue into the younger’s hole. Jongin keeps on clenching at him, his body already shuddering, almost coming when Kyungsoo pulls away completely.

 

Jongin whimpers and turns to look at Kyungsoo. He looks utterly wrecked, on the verge of crying and his lips parted open. “Come here, my prince. I’ll give you a treat and then I’ll fuck you” Kyungsoo says softly

 

“Hyung”

 

“Come Nini, we wouldn’t want to turn it into punishments, right? You’ve been a good boy so far. Let me reward you” Kyungsoo says a little firmer to point out his warning.

 

He’s sure that Chanyeol’s punishment involves knife-play but Kyungsoo doesn’t think that Jongin would enjoy that all and he’s not really keen on cutting up his boyfriend.

 

Jongin scrambled up to his knees turning around before he mouths at Kyungsoo’s clothed dick. “Hyung please” he mumbles, looking up at Kyungsoo with those puppy eyes and a pout on his lips.

 

Kyungsoo decided to just do it like this, take it step by step and maybe lost himself with Jongin when the time comes. He lowered his boxers but he didn’t take them off, he pumped his cock twice before he smeared the pre-cum on Jongin’s lips, making it glisten artfully. “Open up, little prince” he breathes out

 

Jongin parted his lips, darting out a tongue to tease Kyungsoo’s slit. Kyungsoo moaned out before he grabs on Jongin’s hair. “Babe, don’t make me change my mind” he warns.

 

Jongin lets him slip his cock into his mouth without any protests, the younger sucks it like it’s his favorite lollipop. He lets Jongin manage the pace, watching the boy’s head go back and forth as he blows him. “Nini, do you want my cum?”

 

Jongin moans out and the vibration went directly to Kyungsoo’s cock. He pushes his hips until the tip of his cock brushes the back of Jongin’s throat. He stills for a while, keeping it there before he thrusts shallowly. Jongin relaxes his jaw and throat before he hollows his cheek, sucking in Kyungsoo as he thrusts.  

 

Kyungsoo finds himself spilling into the younger’s mouth with a groan and fuck yes. He slips out of Jongin’s mouth, seeing some of his seed leaking on the side of Jongin’s mouth. He wipes it with a finger and brings it to Jongin’s lips making the younger suck on it too.

 

“Hyung” Jongin’s eyes were already full of tears, their foreplay usually takes long but this is longer than Kyungsoo had ever allowed.

 

He stands up and removes his clothes before he helps Jongin out of his sweater and guiding him to lie down on his back. “I want to see your face while I fuck you. You’re so beautiful, Nini” Kyungsoo says softly and for the first time tonight he initiates the kiss between them.

 

Jongin is so pliant, letting Kyungsoo take over in deepening the kiss, he allows Kyungsoo to touch him freely then it hits Kyungsoo. Jongin had already given him his trust since the first time. Jongin would never allow anyone see him this vulnerable if he didn’t trust that person.

 

“Little prince, I’m going to fuck you so good that you’re going to beg for more” Kyungsoo says as he was catching his breath.

 

“Yes, hyung” Jongin mumbles, squirming down when he feels Kyungsoo’s fingers hovering on his hole

 

“Say my name” Kyungsoo presses a little but not entering just to make sure Jongin is still with him.

 

Jongin’s pupils were fully blown, eyes glazed, mouth so red and damn he looks fucking open for Kyungsoo to take. “Soo hyung, please” he pouts.

 

“Good” Kyungsoo says as he finally slips a finger in Jongin’s hole.

 

 

\--

 

 

When Kyungsoo wakes up, he grunts as he thrusts forward. His baby is still asleep and his cock is warmly inside Jongin’s hole. Jongin moans out softly but he presses his ass back to Kyungsoo’s front, rocking on his own as Kyungsoo slips a hand to pump Jongin’s cock.

 

Sleepy sex is one of Jongin’s favorite sex and it actually didn’t matter whether he was in Kyungsoo or vice versa. He feels Kyungsoo’s seed filling him up again that he fills so full. He begged Kyungsoo last night to fuck him over and over until he was spilling Kyungsoo’s cum out of his hole and after that, he plugged himself with Kyungsoo’s cock with the reason that he wanted to warm it.

 

Kyungsoo hasn’t eased out Jongin from his little space but he cared for him the right way. Jongin used to tell him that the aftercare is always important so he didn’t think twice to do it as they settled down to sleep last night.

 

“Let’s take a shower, I want to take you out” Kyungsoo suggests.

 

In the back of Jongin’s mind, there’s something wrong here. He feels as if he’s supposed to be the one urging Kyungsoo to go out and walk around but now, Kyungsoo’s the one who wants to take him to places.

 

“Nini, come. I’ll shower with you and then we can eat” Kyungsoo says, he slowly pulled out of Jongin and he literally watched his come spill down on Jongin’s thighs.

 

He was worried that he would go flaccid last night and slip out but thank God he didn’t.

 

“Hyung?” Jongin calls out softly

 

Kyungsoo presses a finger on Jongin’s lips and helps him up. “Don’t think about anything. Just let me do everything for you” he says and pulls gently on Jongin’s hand to guide him to the bathroom.

 

“Okay” the younger mumbles in defeat.

 

“That’s better. You’re such a good boy, my love. I love you” Kyungsoo says and he placed a kiss on Jongin’s lips.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo almost wants to coo for the nth time today when he sees Jongin messily licking on his ice cream cone. Instead of going to an expensive restaurant, Kyungsoo indulged his Nini with burgers and fries and now they’re walking near the sea.

 

Jongin has been exceptionally good and calm which makes Kyungsoo think that he chose the right way of approaching Jongin’s personal space. All the research he did weren’t enough when he was making love with Jongin last night. He completely took over, cared for Jongin and worshipped him thoroughly.

 

“Soo hyung?”

 

“Yes, Nini” Kyungsoo answers

 

He took a glance on the boy next to him and saw how messy the latter was. Kyungsoo reached up to take Jongin’s finished cup of ice cream and tossed it in the trash bin before he handed him wet wipes for his hands.

 

“I love you” Jongin says softly, his eyes were bright and the dimple on his cheeks appeared deeply.

 

“I love you too, my prince” Kyungsoo answers back

 

“Are we not going to play anymore when we go back to Seoul?” Jongin asks quietly.

 

“Little prince, we can play whenever you want. Actually, we should talk about something when we get to Seoul” Kyungsoo says lightly

 

Jongin tilts his head to side, his eyes were full of confusion that made Kyungsoo chuckle. He inched forward and pressed a kiss on Jongin’s pouty lips before licking the vanilla ice cream that was smudged on the corner of Jongin’s lips.

 

Jongin yelped and took a step back, his face was flushed and he looks shocked at Kyungsoo’s action. “You’re so adorable, my Nini” Kyungsoo cooed not caring about the fact that they’re in public or that Jongin is taller than him.

 

 

Kyungsoo wants to try something. He wants to change Jongin’s perception about punishments not that he wants to keep Jongin in this space for long. He actually found a reason to punish Jongin when the latter firmly ignored the vegetables on his plate and frowned at Kyungsoo all throughout dinner. Also, he just wants to let Jongin know that he won’t ever hurt him which is how he finds himself, laying a hand on Jongin’s ass.

 

It wasn’t a smack but it surely sounded like one. He feels so turned on because Jongin is damn turned on as he begs for his release but of course Kyungsoo, like the fucking thorough person that he is, he adamantly said no because Jongin said 20 and he’s going to finish 20 before letting the younger come.

 

“Hyung” Jongin whines.

 

“After this, I’m getting back my Jongin. We can play again next time, Nini. Okay?” Kyungsoo says softly.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“You can always come to me, Nini. You can tell me what you need but I need Jongin too, okay?” Kyungsoo asks, delivering another slap on Jongin’s ass, this time his hit was harder.

 

“Yes, yes, hyung!” Jongin moans out.

 

“Number!” Kyungsoo demands.

 

He can probably come with just watching Jongin take his hits like this. Fucking beautiful and blissed out. This is how it’s supposed to be, pleasure with pain not fucking pain all around.

 

“19!” Jongin shouts when Kyungsoo lands a harder slap.

 

One more and Jongin falls flat on the bed, sobbing furiously as he begs for his release. Kyungsoo takes off Jongin’s cock ring and pulls Jongin’s hips higher before he slips his cock inside him. “Legs apart, baby. I’m going fast and I’m going to come deep in you” Kyungsoo says lowly, before nibbling on Jongin’s shoulder.

 

Jongin gladly parted his legs, lifting his ass up a little to let Kyungsoo go deeper. “Fuck, Nini. You feel so good” Kyungsoo rasps as he pulls back and thrusts into Jongin’s tight hole.

 

 

\--

 

 

Jongin was staring blankly at Kyungsoo when he woke up. He remembers everything but at the same time he feels as if…it’s a part of another time? It doesn’t make sense, he felt everything, the way Kyungsoo fucked him thoroughly and cared for him afterwards, it felt alien but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

 

When Chanyeol fucked him before, he always used roughness to put Jongin in his place, he fucks him so hard that Jongin forgets to breathe sometimes. Then afterwards, he pushes Jongin to clean them up both. He’s not used to this, he’s not used to being cared for and it scares him.

 

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo mutters, his voice hoarse from fucking and sleep.

 

“Soo” Jongin calls out

 

Kyungsoo finally opened his eyes and he was surprised to see Jongin crying. He sits up in shock, worried that he fucked up earlier when he’s easing Jongin out of his little space.

 

“What’s wrong baby? Did I mess up? OMG. Did I fucking fail on taking you back? Did I make it worse?” Kyungsoo says in panic, he was already about to reach for his phone to call Yixing when Jongin stops him.

 

“No. No”

 

“Why are you crying then?” he asks softly, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

 

“You’re here”

 

“Of course I’m here, Jongin. I told you I’m not leaving” Kyungsoo assured him

 

Kyungsoo pulls Jongin to his lap and hugs him tight. The younger rests his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder while Kyungsoo pulled up the sheets to cover them both since they’re both naked.

 

“He always left me after. I….he used me. It took me a long time to accept that…I thought I was okay. I’m sorry” Jongin finally cried, his walls breaking down as he finally speaks about Chanyeol.

 

Kyungsoo kept his arm around Jongin as he listens to everything that happened between Chanyeol and Jongin. Kyungsoo’s heart was aching every time Jongin sniffles or tries to hold back his tears. It’s not right for someone to be hurt this badly. It’s not right that Jongin had to endure things like this.

 

“Do you want to go back to your little space?” Kyungsoo asks softly after Jongin finally quieted down.

 

Jongin immediately shook his head and hugs Kyungsoo tighter. “I want to spend time with you too. You already spent time with Nini and you babied him a lot. I want to baby you too” Jongin frowns

 

Kyungsoo chuckles softly and he presses soft kisses along Jongin’s jaw. “Well if you want, I’m dying to be fucked into next week, Jongin~ah” he says in the most sultry way that he can.

 

Jongin smirks at him and suddenly their positions were switched. Jongin was the one lying on the bed while Kyungsoo is straddling him on top. “Go ahead, princess. Stretch yourself for daddy”

 

Who would’ve fucking thought that his Jongin had a damn daddy kink not that Kyungsoo’s the one to complain since Jongin really looks like a damn daddy or a sugar daddy when he walks the hallways of the hospital, dressed in one of those tight fitting turtlenecks and a pair of round-framed glasses.

 

“I’m waiting pretty boy” Jongin says with a fucking smirk.

 

 

\--

 

 

When they got back to Seoul, Jongin asks Kyungsoo to move in with him and the older surprisingly said yes without questions. It was surprising because Jongin knew that Kyungsoo liked his personal space and he clearly loved staying in a place that’s only his but when Jongin offered, Kyungsoo immediately said yes.

 

“Jongin” Kyungsoo calls out softly

 

The younger whips his head to turn to Kyungsoo who was sitting on the floor. “hmm?”

 

“Can you quit your job?” Kyungsoo asks suddenly.

 

They’re packing boxes of Kyungsoo’s stuff before they needed to go back to work. Jongin offered to let his father’s security help them move after they packed everything and Kyungsoo agreed at once.

 

“What? But? Why? Am I—“

 

“No, listen to me” Kyungsoo says as he pulls down the younger to sit beside him on the floor.

 

He’s been weighing his options but now that he knows everything, he just feels like he needs to address this properly. Jongin waited patiently, his fingers pulling lightly on the loose thread of his sweater and his lips pouting adorably.

 

“I was thinking that you should become an ER doctor but not like Baek. I know you trained to become a surgeon but it’s not what you love. Being an ER doctor means that you can handle your shifts, you won’t get called in the middle of the night and run to the hospital” Kyungsoo points out lightly

 

“What is this about?” Jongin asks with a frown

 

Kyungsoo bites his lower lip, still looking at Jongin’s unimpressed expression before he answers quietly. “I was thinking that you should go back to dancing”

 

“No” Jongin answers in a heartbeat

 

Kyungsoo sighs and wraps his free arm around the younger’s back, he feels like he needs to comfort Jongin and let him know that everything will be okay even if he chooses dancing.

 

“Jongin” he calls out softly

 

“I said no. I…I wasted my life…I..already gave up years, I can’t just go back and where would I go after? There’s nowhere to go, hyung. I’ll…there’s no future now that I’ve stopped” Jongin says quietly, his tone was laced with disappointment and regret that Kyungsoo wanted to beat up a certain person for doing this to Jongin.

 

“Jongin it’s what you loved. That time when I saw you dancing back in Hawaii, I knew that you were made to perform, that you weren’t made to be stuck in an OR, trying to save lives. I know you’ve come to love being a surgeon but you and dancing, are so much more when put together” Kyungsoo points out softly.

 

Silence hits them like a train when Jongin stayed too quiet for Kyungsoo’s liking. He doesn’t want to force Jongin into something but he really wants to let the younger reach for his dreams.

 

Jongin breaks the silence by resting his back on Kyungsoo’s front, his whole body relaxes as he comfortable leans to the safety of Kyungsoo’s arms around him. “I…I don’t..I don’t want to..” he mutters quietly, afraid that Kyungsoo would get mad.

 

“Okay” the older answers lightly.

 

Jongin tilts his head to look at Kyungsoo who was staring at him with the same warm expression that he loves.  “Okay?” he asks again, a little bit confused of Kyungsoo’s immediate acceptance.

 

Kyungsoo smiled at him and places a kiss on the tip of his nose before nodding lightly. “If that’s what you want then okay. I just wanted to suggest it. I’m sorry for bringing it up, my little prince” Kyungsoo says softly, placing a kiss on Jongin’s temple to ease the younger’s worries.

 

Jongin sighs in relief before he finally smiled at Kyungsoo. “I’m sorry for—“

 

“Shh. Come help me pack so I can mess up your whole place with my things” Kyungsoo says lightly before pushing the younger up so they can finally finish packing his things.

 

“It’s our place, hyung” Jongin corrected with a pout

 

Kyungsoo smiled at Jongin before kissing the young man’s hand. There’s always that soft thrum of electricity underneath his fingertips whenever he touches Jongin and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“Right. Ours”

 

\--


End file.
